Walking to work today, I noticed several new additions to Cain Morehouse’s City Market sign collection. This one is especially nice.

I am also very amused by the Sin City Market sign — which appeared just around the time the DVD for that film was released.

[To view all of the signs I've taken a picture of, go to City Market Gallery: Poster Art By Cain Morehouse.]

Last night, on the way to the Ben Folds/Rufus Wainwright concert at the Chateau St. Michelle winery (and yes, it was lovely, thank you), I saw the following signs on the side of the road:

As part of a continuing effort to occasionally bring you the best in craigslist personals, an entry from last week that may be of interest to some readers:

Domme needs Mac Comp Nerd – w4m – 25

I am a professional dominatrix who is looking to do some trade with an apple computer nerd. I have an Apple IBook g4 which starts up with “grey screen” problem and I tried the startup CDs and that didn’t work. Hopefully looking for someone who had an IBook G4 already (who has the CDs) and who has a lot of experience with fixing computers. My warranty has expired and I refuse to wait in line for hours at the apple store.

Once we talk I will send you the website link which talks has my photos and talks about the dungeon I work out of. This is strictly trade only, for things which are legal for me to do to you in my dungeon. I am a dark haired, light skinned fit and busomy bombshell. Many possibilities. [craigslist]

This ad is remarkable mainly because it’s a w4m ad in the “casual encounters” section, but also because it seems way too perfectly targeted to be true (although the part about not being able to wait in line was a nice touch). If this is actually more than an attempt to collect e-mail addresses for her dungeon’s website, I hope that the dominatrix in distress was prepared to handle the flood of willing e-mail responses.

I wonder if the Mac guys made her take on a domineering Microsoft personality as part of their payback package?

(via buffoonery.org [#]; apparently Manuel didn’t make the dom’s tech support cut.)

Not long ago, I was driving behind this car on this street. I’d been following the car for the past mile or so; down the street, past the botanical gardens, and around the corner, at the super duper speed of 18 miles an hour. I wasn’t in a hurry, but still, it was annoying. When I felt myself getting annoyed, I backed off and gave the front car plenty of room. No point in getting up to ramming speed and tapping bumpers. (Also, I sang my “I’m not in a hurry” song, which goes very well with the tune to Twisted Sister’s “We’re not gonna take it”. But you don’t need to know that.)

As we rounded the corner and started to crawl up the street, we got to a point in the road where we were visible to the motion detector that activated the vehicle-activated speed-limit sign. The sign lit up with, I dunno, 18 or 19 MPH (in a 25MPH zone). The effect on the car in front of me was instantaneous — and I could tell, by the sign — it immediately sped up to 27 MPH.

I’d like to get one of these at every mile mark on I-405 between Lynnwood and Burien.

I don’t think it’s too much to ask.

originally uploaded by fisticuffs

Although my reluctance to leave my neighborhood hasn’t yet reached the levels attained by former Stranger writer Kathleen Wilson — who once produced a video of herself taking a taxi away from Capitol Hill to spend fifteen minutes in Ballard to raise money for charity ¹ — I’m the first to admit that my direct experiences with the weird and wonderful aspects of Seattle’s other districts has been lacking as of late. I’m happy to report that the internet (particularly my all-star friendslist) once again saves the day and saves me cab fare to allowing occasional reports from the front.

The first entirely fascinating Ballard-related custom is the existence of a Lutefisk Eating Contest that figured into SeafoodFest. [flickr] It is with great regret that I inform you that this event has already passed and that a champion of eating lye cured fish has already been crowned. Yet, it is never to early to start training for the next competition. Of course, first-hand reports from people who attended (in lieu of weddings or Block Parties, for instance) are appreciated.

However, the existence of a disgusting eating spectacle is far from the most disturbing development from Ballard. It seems that marketing geniuses have decided that they key to hipping up the neighborhood is a re-branding effort. Namely, that the region North of Market should now be called NoMa. While it isn’t as bad as the recent invention of West Edge — and is certainly not as godawful as Chenora, which was among the proposed names for the previously unnamed downtown region [stranger], it might not be too late to stop the NoMa train before it leaves the station. Until the number of printed Neighborhoodies stays below the tipping point, there is still a chance for rationality to prevail.

related: The Seattle City Clerk’s Office maintains a lovely set of maps showing the official neighborhood and sub-neighborhood designations for the whole city [#]

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1. As far as I can tell, the only internet record of this amazing video exists as quoted text on my personal weblog. [#]

Well, not the street, exactly — more like the patch of dirt alongside the bus stop at Republican (snicker) and Bellevue. I happened to notice this as I was walking home from work. Yeah, it’s pretty darn lowbrow political “commentary”, but it got a chuckle out of me.

It’s kind of amazing that someone went to the trouble to make a fancy little GW flag and then find a big pile of dog dookie to stick it in. Have they created more of these … objets? Any other sightings in the area? Is this a purely Seattle phenomenon, or have similar things appeared in other cities?

In honor of Eli Sanders’s advice for Seattle’s Gay Pride parade [stranger], might I also make a suggestion? For those trying to convince people that the event should stay on Broadway, putting posters on a building that’s about to be torn down might not have been the best way to demonstrate that the neighborhood continues to be a vibrant and stable host for the annual festivities.

update / unintentional hilarity: “Dozens protest move of Seattle’s Gay Pride Parade” [king5] (emphasis mine)

The Capitol Hill City Market on Bellevue and Olive is a neighborhood fixture. It’s a better than average quickee mart, with a good selection of basic food and snacks, but it’s the outdoor signs that give the market its own unique personality. Created by Cain, the daytime deli manager, the signs are simply drawn caricatures of celebrities and cartoon characters, with often silly captions touting the virtues of the market. The signs are almost invariably amusing, and some of the best are downright funny.

I still think that the drawing of Janet Jackson saying, “You’d be a boob not to shop at City Market” (displayed in the days after the notorious “wardrobe malfunction”) is the all time best, but this recent Star Wars inspired number is pretty darn good too.

It’s so nice to see people happy on a Friday. And the guys at the bank were greeting everyone by name! Everyone but me, that is — cus I’m all antisocial, and I use the ATM. I’m just here for the free coffee.

baldman

Originally uploaded by joshc.

From the corner of Broadway and Harrison, a sort of manifesto from the Bald Man appeared in the morning and was gone . Apparently, all of the watching is taking its toll. The image has been appearing all over town for more than a year; so it’s understandable that he’s seen some things that require head bandages.

related:

• reports of the bald man in Ballard [thestranger]

• a discussion of the Bald Man in which a commenter claims credit for the stickers [struat.com]