8 p.m. – Sketchfest @ Erickson Theatre Off Broadway (1524 Harvard Ave., down the street from the Egyptian) – Damn fine sketch comedy from across the country makes it’s annual trek to Seattle. Karla and the Cody Rivers Show (both are great) kick it off tonight, with a gala after. Gala meaning “spicy treats courtesy of Buddha Belltown Lounge”, awright! I look forward to this fest every year.

Friday 17th-19th – The Spy Who Loved Me @ Central Cinema. My favorite Bond film. “Nobody does it better…”

Friday 17th – Pike Place Market turns 100 @ You know where – A bunch of Cool Kids performers perform tonight in celebration. From Fankick! to Sean Nelson to Spoonman to…

Saturday 18th – Hempfest @ Myrtle Edwards Park – They had to work with the Olympic Sculpture Park to make this happen, so, there you go.

Saturday 18th – KEXP BBQ @ Blues Scholars w/ and 8 piece band, plus other hipster bands amok.

Saturday 18th – GrowingWashington.org’s 1st Annual Dinner Party @ Mona’s Bistro and Lounge – “Come meet your local farmers and taste delicious dishes prepared by Chef Micah Windham. Support local food by participating in the silent auction.” I’d be here if I wasn’t in Boise :-(.

Saturday 18th – Emerald City Open Water Swim @ Seward Park – Splash around Lake Washington for a 1/2 mile or mile.

And now… Culture Wars 2007:

Sunday 19th – Jewish Community Festival @ Bellevue Downtown Park

vs.

Sunday 19th – Brazilfest @ Seattle Center

Hey, it’s no war, see both!

Sunday 19th – Fountains of Wayne, Sean Nelson and His Mortal Enemies @ Neumo’s

Friday 10th 7:30 p.m. – 12th Annual Sunset Supper @ Pike Place Market – “Wine, dine and dance the century away on the cobblestone street at the heart of the Market. Enjoy culinary delights, world-class wines and meticulously crafted microbrews from 70 of the Northwest’s finest restaurants, wineries and breweries. Then dance under the stars to live hits from funk and soul band Soul’d Out.” A little spendy, but, hey, 70 restauants!

Friday 10th – Switches/The Catch/Boat @ Chop Suey – Three Imaginary Girls heart Boat, I heart The Catch.

Friday 10th – Ditty Bops @ The Triple Door – 2 gals sing tight harmonies over sweet tunes.

Friday 10th 11 p.m. – Boss Martains @ The Comet – I know there’s a couple of other bands on the bill, but I’m not in love with them, I’m in love with the Boss Martians! Rock out with your sock out! I don’t know what that means, but, it rhymes.

Friday 10th-12th – Seattle Tattoo Convention 2007 @ Seattle Center – The other tattoo convention from a few months back was at Seatac. No excuses, since this one is so much closer!

Saturday 11th 11 a.m. – Tour de Fat @ Corner of N 35th & Phinney, Fremont – “Costumes and decorated bikes reign supreme as the participants come for a casual ride, good music and entertainment, then stay, of course, for the beer. Amid the hoopla, Tour de Fat also raises money for local charities.” – Ride is for an hour @ 11, then music and stuff ’till 6. March Fourth Marching Band and Circus Contraption, amongst others.

Saturday 11th 11 a.m. – Madison Pool Dog Swim @ Helene Madison Pool (between Northgate and Shorline) – They open up a city pool for your dog to splash around in. No, you can’t swim w/ them, and they need a soap shower before jumping in (just like people!), but, how many times does this happen? They’re also BBQing… hot dogs for the owners. I know it’s really not the same, but, I feel like that’s like hamburger joints featuring cows in their advertising. Who wants to clean the pool after?

Saturday 11th – Lake Fest @ Eastlake – more Lake Unionish outdoor festivaling.

Saturday 11th 8:30 p.m. – Creature From The Black Lagoon @ Cal Anderson Park – Yet even more outdoor cinema (it seems like there’s a crazy amount this year), but they’re projecting this one in 3D, and they’re handing out free 3D glasses!

Saturday 11th – Sky Cries Mary, Head Like A Kite @ Neumo’s – Should be a great art-rocky show.

Saturday 11th – Attack of the 50 foot Hammond B3 Monster @ Salmon Bay Eagles, 5144 Ballard NW, Ballard – I know nothing about this but the name. And the fact that the Hammond B3 is the instrument of rock. That organ riff at the beginning of Spencer Davis Group’s “Gimme Some Lovin’? Yup, that’s the one.

6 p.m. – Seattle Metroblogs 3rd Anniversary @ Remedy Teas (on 15th, across from Smith) – Yup, the URL is 3 years young. We gots some cash money (um, ok, a small little cash money), and we’re gonna lay it all out for our loyal, loyal readership. Remedy has sake and other alcohol, so it won’t be all tea-drankin’-with-pinkys-in-the-air. I’ll be there with the rest of the seattlemetrobloggers, you be there or not! Dylan has more details in the previous entry here.

Ok, you are now released to do elsewise:

7 p.m. – Radio8Ball Show @ CHAC – “Audience members are invited onstage to ask questions of the oracle. Their answers are chosen by spinning a wheel which picks one of the musical artists’ songs. When the wheel stops the musical act plays the song and then, with the help of “Professor” Jones, the answer is interpreted.”

These Arms Are Snakes + Sound Team + The Clutters @ Neumo’s – Free show!

Skate Like a Girl Benefit show @ The Re-bar – With The Fakies (legendary skate punk), The Valkyries (hard rock hellions), Neon Nights (riff rock explosion), Red Sonya (girl rock sensation) and DJ Bobcat. Help to achieve gender balance in the skate punk department.

9 p.m. – Havana Hot Nights/Big Flicks presents Xanadu @ Havana parking lot. Free popcorn and cheap drinks. And Xanadu… Olivia Newton-John? Gene Kelly? Electric Light Orchestra manning the soundtrack? How can you NOT go?

Nectar’s 3rd Anniversary and Relaunch Party – Free show with The Helio Sequence, Lifesavas, Truckasaurus and with DJs F.I.T.S & Colin (Mercir). Colin Johnson, the guy recently axed from his booking gig at Chop Suey, takes over here. Expect great things.

Friday 6 p.m. – 11th Annual Downhill and Messenger Challenge @ Redline Music & Sports Bar (4439 35th SW) – “Bikes, bands, beverages, food, fun!” after the race. I saw a leather jacket with a logo for the org. running this gig, and I was, well, a little disturbed. But, I think that’s exactly what they were going for, so, it’s ok. Link is ever-so-slightly NSFW.

Friday-Saturday – Magnolia Summer Fair and Art Show @ W. Smith St. and 32nd Ave. W., Magnolia. Normally I don’t list a summer fair unless there’s at least something out of the ordinary going on. But, I list this because I so rarely get to Magnolia, I’m not even sure it’s still there. Can someone go and verify? Thanks.

Friday – Hell’s Belles @ El Corazon – I LOOOVVVEEE this all-gal AC/DC tribute (don’t call ‘em a cover) band. They become AC/DC. It’s terrific.

Saturday 7 a.m. – 4th Annual Mud Bog @ Ethel, WA – “Just 75 miles south of Tacoma!” Looks like they have a huge ditch of mud that they drive big SUVs through. Ah, America, what a country. Have to get there early to register, if you just want to watch you can slide in at 9. Heck, that early, you need to go down the night before and stay in a Motel 6.

Saturday 2 p.m. – Sound Outside @ Cal Anderson Park – Relax to free music while you, uh, relax. Last one of the summer. First post with that sentence in it, and it makes me a little sad.

Saturday – Westcoast Kickball League (WKL) Play-offs Party @ McLeod Residence – “The Westcoast Kickball League ‘encourages deep, dark rivalries, intractable grudges, and an obsessive, unhealthy desire to achieve kickball supremacy.’ Sounds like fun…” If you’ve been meaning to get into kickball, go meet some people, so you can be in for the fall season (I assume there is one).

1st 3 weekends in August – Washinton Renaissance Fantasy Faire @ Gig Harbor – Time to haul out your Renaissance gear and ferry it over to Gig Harbor.

7 p.m. – West Edge Sculpture Exhibition Opening @ West Edge – The sub-branding of little sections of downtown continues. They put up sculptures by the SAM and Harbor Steps, you go look at ‘em. Meet the artists at Pike Brewing Company after.

9 p.m. – Dance Off 2007 @ Crocodile – “An annual dance battle for those with the heart and soul of a dancer, but lack the training and talent of a dancer.” Should be spectacular!

Fashion First 2007 @ Jonas Jenson Studios (155 North 35th Street, Fremont) – Get the jump on the fall fashions, you fashionista. Yes, already.

Indie Biz Night @ McLeod Residence – Get down with Biznik folks.

1 p.m. – Seafair Fleet Arrives @ Bell Harbor (Pier 66) – Watch the Navy ships arrive; it’s like the Love Boat in reverse. Without confetti and streamers. With weapons. On the boats. More like UnLove Boat, I guess.

7:30 p.m. – Dorkbot @ 911 Media Arts- This month people show off the stuff they’re going to take to Burning Man.

Tonight-5th – Eartha Kitt @ Jass Alley – The Orignal Cat Woman sings her heart out and flirts with everyone, because she can; she’s Eartha Kitt! I saw her last time, and man, she put on a smokin’ show.

Typophile Film Festival 4 @ TypeCon Seattle – If it wasn’t for type, you wouldn’t even be reading this! The main film here is “Helvetica“, about the font, and it’s impact on you (bet you didn’t know it impacted you!). Unfortunately, the TypeCon web site says the tickets are sold out (unless you want to attend TypeCon), but, you may be able to go down and haggle your way in; bring in some fonts on a DVD or something.

Havana Hot Nights/Big Flicks @ Havana parking lot – “Dogtown and Z Boys”, with DJ Sean Cee. With free popcorn and cheap drinks. They’re doing it Wednesdays all month long.

Friday-Saturday – Capitol Hill Block Party @ Capitol Hill – I go for Girl Talk (you should too, if you are concerned about shaking your thing of groove), I stay for the rest. A ton of Cool Kids Bands. Actually, if you put them all a scale, collectively, undoubtedly much more than a ton. See more by Josh here.

Saturday-Sunday – 61st Annual Pacific NW Scottish Highland Games @ Enumclaw Expo Center, Enumclaw – They throw down with a harp competition, along with other games Celtic. Do they race ‘em? Do they throw ‘em? Do they play ‘em while they race ‘em and/or throw ‘em? Go find out.

Saturday-Sunday – Ballard SeafoodFest @ Ballard – Foods from the sea, plus other things Ballard-ish.

Saturday 4 p.m. – Hell’s Belles Car Club & Cretins MC Pinewood Derby @ Cretins Clubhouse (3600 E. Marginal Way S.) – When I first saw this, I thought the all-girl AC/DC tribute band was running this gig; alas, it’s a group of other gals, with the same name. Sigh. Well, there’s still going to be the pinewood car derby race, so that’ll be good. And it’s a fundraiser for the Broadview Emergency Shelter, to boot.

Saturday 7:30 p.m. – Seafair Torchlight Parade @ Downtown – I love a parade. Especially one with pirates. And Miss Seafair.

Saturday 8:30 p.m. – Season Grand Finale Bash: Jungle Fever! @ Little Red Studio – “A brief but fun jungle themed show at the Harrison location to kick things off and then we’ll hit full swing with dancing, performances and art happening at all three places!” Their tag line is “Beauty, Art, and the Erotic.” So I assume that there’ll be more flesh exposed at this party than most Seattle bashes. Unless you get out to a lot more action than I do. Which could very well be the case.

Sunday 10 a.m. – Pigs on Parade Street Scramble @ Victor Steinbrueck Park, Virginia St. & Western Ave. (next to Pike Place Market) – You scurry around from Pig to Pig, gathering points, for glory.