We’ve already told you what to see [sat :: sun :: mon]; so now it’s time to haul out the advice that we post every year . We like to think of it as a classic, just revised with slightly-new content and under the assumption that surely we must have picked up a few new readers and Bumbershoot must have enticed a few first-time visitors since last time. But not a lot changes about Bumbershoot from year to year; so why not re-recycle? It’s good for the environment and for preserving our fingers for typing fresh stuff later. So, in the spirit of eco-friendliness and with thanks to everyone who ever contributed, here’s the revised and updated guide for 2009.

After the jump, our hints. Any of your own to add?

Your Agenda, Should You Choose to Accept It

There are at least two schools of thought on having an agenda for your time at Bumbershoot:

• plan ahead: Look at the schedule before you go (or just follow our sometimes-conflicting advice [sat :: sun :: mon] or subscribe to any blog in the city for detailed or cursory picks, whatever style suits you best). After perusing the lineup ask yourself: Are there acts that you definitely want to see? If missing them will leave you heartbroken or just down in the dumps, expect lines at most indoor venues, show up early, and be pleasantly surprised if you don’t find a giant crowd ahead of you. When you get there, find your inner line Zen and don’t get freaked out by the size of the group waiting to see your beloved performer. Except in rare circumstances, you will probably get inside the venue. The volunteers and crowd coordinators will tell you otherwise, but they’re usually wrong. The good part about these warnings is that they chase away all but the true believers, improving your chances. Unless it’s a comedy show, for that, you’ll need a golden ticket.
• don’t plan ahead: With that in mind, a highly enjoyable part about Bumbershoot is discovering wonderful new things almost by accident. For the most part you can just show up and wander around until you find something enjoyable. Bumbershoot is a smorgasbord and it’s most fun when you try a little bit of everything — even something you might think you don’t like. Sticking to the many outdoor venues that aren’t limited by capacity will make your voyage of discovery even less stressful.

The News

• Ride the Green Line to Bumbershoot: Yes, you can ride the monorail straight to Bumbershoot from West Seattle and Ballard thanks to the completion of the Green Line… oh, right. Never mind.
• Still no shuttles: Federal Transit Administration regulations mean that Metro can’t provide additional shuttle service to Bumbershoot, leaving the buses running on their weekend and holiday schedules; so take a look at TripPlanner and anticipate getting to know your neighbors up close and personal on the way to Seattle Center. Bumbershoot also has suggestions for monorailing, carpooling, or riding your bike (last year, they had large parking lots for cycles). [#]
• Skatepark: While the roller derby hasn’t returned to Bumbershoot (too many people became disoriented trying to figure out the rules), the longtime dream of a real live skatepark ON THE SEATTLE CENTER GROUNDS has become a reality. Let’s see if the regular skaters of Seattle will give the ROCKSTAR Vert Ramp in the fountain lawn a run for their money, attentionwise.
• The venue names have been changed to confuse the innocent: One Reel sells the venue names to the highest bidder. Memorial Stadium remains Samsung Mobile Mainstage. Sometimes the sponsors from previous years return but with a new venue. The thing to know here is that no one bought the Broad Street Lawn Stage, despite the regular awesomeness of its lineup, and Rockstar Energy Drink now owns the gymnasiumlike cavern of Exhibition Hall. Some venues get descriptive names because there isn’t big money in Literary Arts sponsorship and others keep their real names. Confused? If you’re not, you’re lying. Luckily, the map lists old and new.

Here are some more things to consider:

• your printer: unless you have a photographic memory, bring a schedule for your back pocket. The Bumbershoot website has a customized lineup tool. If you really like it, you can pay $2 for the privilege of keeping it on your iPhone [itunes]. Despite our incredulity about for-pay festival app and wishes that they’d they’d followed SIFF’s excellent precedent of making beautiful, functional, festival-enhancing app free of charge, the benefits of having an electronic schedule might make it worth the small charge. In any case, having the schedule handy will make your wandering, planning, or hybrid-wandering/planning much more productive. When you reach the point where watching people dancing gaily in the spray of the International Fountain grows tiresome and you need something to do. As we mentioned above, there are several choices: the Stranger, the Seattle Weekly, the Seattle Times, and the Seattle Post-Intelligencer all have their version of a schedule and program. The Bumbershoot website has PDF versions to print out or save to your iPhone [pdf].
• a related note about wristbands: You need a free *something* to get into the evening mainstage shows — a token, a wristband, whatever. If you’re absolutely sure that you aren’t going, don’t bother hunting one down and leave the whatever object for someone who actually wants it. If you arrive on the festival grounds too late to score one, don’t panic. There are hundreds of people who pick up a token out of sheer herd mentality. Hang out by the exits and ask (beg?) early departers for their certain-to-be-unused token.
• In and Out: Bumbershoot is one of the few big festivals that doesn’t require you to stay within the grounds all day. Just make sure to closely follow the protocol if you leave and want to come back later. Last year, I think you needed to have both your hand and ticket stamped on the way out.
• Gold/Platinum passes: Did you get one? You should have, especially if you hate the crowds and like feeling fancy. If you did, you have the express lines, free food, and all sorts of ways to make your festival life easier. If you didn’t, well, you’re with the rabble. If you’re really into the shows, next year buy the Gold/Platinum passes.
• Advance tickets: You really should have bought tickets ahead of time because they’re now selling for the much ballyhooed and near impulse-purchase prohibitive rate of $50/day or $120/weekend. At this point your option is a Ticketmaster outlet or at the gate. For the additional fees, the only minor advantage of buying at a Ticketmaster outlet is that it might save you time. And if time really does = money, well… Who wants to spend their valuable festival time standing in line behind ten people only to discover that number nine didn’t notice he’s in the “cash only” line and decides to pick a fight with the ticket seller instead of moving to another line? Then again, even avoiding that situation might not be worth it.
• Cameras: Official Bumbershoot policy states that cameras with detatchable lenses (i.e. SLRs and dSLRs) are not allowed, and whatever camera you bring can’t be pointed anywhere near an artist. The reality, though, is… all over the place. One year I was able to take pics of an act without the security saying anything, and then the same day had a rent-a-cop threatening to take away my camera under a Washington law they made up for taking a picture of… a flagpole. I’ve seen rent-a-cops hassling people with cellphone cameras. Seriously, though — leave your nice camera at home. It’s just another thing you have to carry and one more theft target.

practical details regarding the physical environment

• the elements: Remember that you’re probably going to be outside in Seattle for most of the day, except when you drop into the occasional air conditioned venue (Hint: Bagley Wright Theatre and the Sky Church have A/C; Memorial Stadium does not). This means that you get to put your local layering expertise to good use. Pack a raincoat and sunscreen, but not an umbrella (they are legal, contrary to our advice of previous years, but when you have 40,000 people all carrying umbrellas in a confined space, things happen. Usually to your eyes,) Pack lightly — you’re stuck carrying your gear throughout the day in crowded quarters. This is where your microweight layers from R.E.I. come in handy.
• crowd control: Some people are kept away from Bumbershoot by all the talk of how crowded it gets. This is all a matter of perspective — with the right attitude, even the crowd-phobic will find the mobs quite manageable. Considering how uncomfortable your average club or concert venue is, Bumbershoot is a picnic. Try to familiarize yourself with the layout of Seattle Center and don’t let the hordes of people traveling the main thoroughfares freak you out. Cutting across lawns is much more fun, anyway. As long as you’re able to steer clear of menacing drum circlers (most mercifully quarantined to an out of the way corner) or impromptu hacky sack competitions.
• escapes: When the sun, heat cold, rain, and people get to be too much, find a cool (dry) place to hang out. A consistent favorite is the EMP Sky Church, where you’re likely to find some really interesting smaller acts. Be aware that the “let’s take a quick look inside the $20 EMP” crowd may increase the line sizes, but once you’re inside, it’s climate-controlled and there’s a beer garden to soothe away the crowd anxieties.
• hungry? Don’t eat inside Bumbershoot (every day). This isn’t a popular choice, because people do seem to love those greasy elephant ears and giant strawberry shortcake booths. But the prices are horribly jacked up, and the food just isn’t that good. Get some fried food or corn on a stick if you must, but get your hand stamped and duck out to QFC or Met Market for real food. Or to any of the lovely restaurants on lower Queen Anne. There’s always a chocolate milkshake at Dick’s.
• thirsty? Save money AND the environment by bringing your very own reusable non-disposable non-glass water bottle to Bumbershoot where you will have ample opportunities to fill it up for free and fountains and under canopies within Memorial Stadium, beneath the Monorail (facing the SE corner of the Fun Forest Pavillion), and across from the NW corner of the International Garden Lawn, facing the beer garden.
• go early: If you truly want to take advantage of Bumbershoot, you’re not going to do it while being bumped by everyone’s elbow. About 3 pm, the crowds will converge. Or earlier. Rain makes the crowds go away. Run out to Bumbershoot while it’s raining. And pick up a bracelet/token if you think you want to go to a mainstage show.
• parking: You shouldn’t drive. Seattle Center is served by umpteen buses from downtown, Queen Anne, and Capitol Hill and the Monorail, when it’s working. If you do drive, carpool. The parking garages north of the Center fill up fast, so arrive in the late morning to ensure a parking slot. If you don’t want to pay, expect to walk. (Psst… here’s a secret: Park on top of Queen Anne and walk down the hill. Then take the 3 or 4 back up in the hill in the evening — you’re only out $2.)
• getting inside: Entry lines are typically shorter on the North side of the Center.
• the call of nature: Upon arrival at Seattle Center, first time Bumbershoot goers should first and foremost scope out the bathroom locations. As silly as that sounds, many of the bathrooms at the Center aren’t very obvious and in the big crowds the festival tends to attract, there can be some long, long lines unless you’ve been smart enough to seek out the less obvious facilities. There are enough real bathrooms scattered around Seattle Center that you really have no excuse for standing in line at a Honey Bucket.
• cash money: There are few ATMs (and they often run out of bills); so take money with you. Take cash — lots of vendors don’t take credit cards and it’s a hassle, anyway.

good citizenship

• share the love: Take some small bills for the buskers. Especially the ones who don’t clog major arterial routes. If you’re willing to pay $30-$50 a day to be herded like cattle, you should be able to part with a buck for any street performer you stop to watch. And some of the street performers are both charming and amazing. Some are simply annoying. Don’t give them a dime.
• that guy/girl: This is a piece of advice to a small audience: please don’t do that hippie chick dance to every kind of music. Or at all. You know what I mean: blonde girls in dreadlocks with Indian skirts, too much patchouli, and that glazed look in their eyes. I swear, once I saw a hapless hippie girl doing that damned dance to a bagpiper. Please, desist.
• the teens and tweens: Bumbershoot’s need for money has led to more poppy hip-hop and radio-friendly emo on the schedule, all to try and attract the kids who still listen to KUBE and The End. And you know how teenagers are — loud, hyperactive, and all over the place. Just remember you were one once, and you were just like that at that New Kids concert in 1991 (or for you younger folks, that Backstreet Boys concert in 2000). Give ‘em a break.
• queuing manners: If you want to use the buddy system to deal with long lines, that’s cool when it’s one person leaving and the other(s) staying and switching off with them but if there are five of you and four of you want to leave the line for more than a couple seconds, it’s really going to piss people off for the four of you to rejoin the one in line just minutes before the doors open.
• smokers: Whether it’s tobacco or that other stuff, if you feel the need to light up, please get out of the way. Don’t walk through a tight crowd holding whatever it is you’re smoking, that’s just not cool. Find yourself a spot to stand that doesn’t block the flow of traffic and where the fewest people possible will be exposed to your smoke.
• just be cool: At times, you will feel cramped, hot, wet, thirsty, and totally not into Bumbershoot. That’s OK. As Will Rogers would say, if you don’t like the scene at Bumbershoot, wait a minute, it will change. It is also one of the few big festivals that allows you to come and go through the day. Take a break, get some air, and return later. Remember that kindness, the benefit of the doubt, and letting things slide a bit will make the cute boys and girls love you and not want beat the crap out of you.
• be nice to the staff: Some of the people working at Bumbershoot are being paid; a large number of them are volunteering because they love the festival. Both groups are there to do their best to make sure you have a fun and safe day. The festival absolutely could not happen without all of their hard work. Be nice to them. Listen to what they tell you. Follow their instructions. And, really, be nice.

In the last couple months, I’ve basically stopped reading it. Yeah, Eli Sanders did some great work covering the last days of the P-I, and every once in a while one of the other authors comes up with a good article in a blind-squirrel-find-acorn way, but the rest of it seems to have crumbled from being humorous and ironic to being a cross between an angry teenage wannabe sensitive hipster and an angry teenage wannabe gay rights activist who thinks everyone else isn’t gay enough.

Here’s how I think the Slog’s content currently breaks down:

Current Slog post content, showing it's mostly Dan Savage being unreadable

At this point, the Slog can’t even cover Capitol Hill well anymore — Capitol Hill Seattle is running circles around them, natch, but it’s almost like they’ve forgotten they’re even on Capitol Hill.

It’s all about content, kids. And maybe turning the place into an Andrew Sullivan/Democratic Underground repeater station is working, but you’re gaining the whole world while losing Broadway and John. Push Dan off onto his own blog and get back to what you did well. Whatever that was.

Not only does this effectively halve the number of people who actually do work at the Stranger, it also continues the Slog’s descent into shrill one-note unreadability. (Did I miss the memo where they explained how Slog now stands for “Savage: Loathes Obama, Gay”?)

But best of luck to Erica joining Josh Feit’s merry band of awesome. She’s been nothing less than great to me over the years. The red wine is in the mail. (PS: Can we set up a time where I can bust Sandeep in the chops for being Nickels’ man? I have five days of “stranded in my house because no one dared plow the north end” rage that’s needed to get out since December.)

What’s BarCamp? Well, this handy paragraph I pilfered from the BarCamp Seattle site should help you understand:

BarCamp is an ad-hoc gathering born from the desire for people to share and learn in an open environment. It is an intense event with discussions, demos, and interaction from attendees. It is an international network of user generated non-traditional social conferences— open, participatory workshop-events, whose content is provided by participants — often focusing on early-stage web applications, and related open source technologies, social protocols, and open data formats. Oh and super fun!!

No word on exactly how much this will cost the university. The piece also mentions incoming Foster School students will also get Kindles.

Wash your hands with soap and water. Cover your mouth and nose with the crook of your elbow (not your hand!) when you sneeze. If you’re sick, STAY HOME. If you really feel rotten, SEE A DOCTOR. Wear a mask only when advised; otherwise, you look like this guy.

Need more info? PHS&KC’s site has more info than you’ll ever need.

Don’t panic. Don’t blow this off either. But really, don’t panic.

…About five years ago, I purchased it on a whim and blared it from a cheap boombox in the kitchen, and it sounded great. I wouldn’t say it sounded good, necessarily, but that was never the point of Ten. It wasn’t supposed to be something of quality, but something of feeling, something that made you feel like NOBODY GETS YOU and THE WORLD IS HARD and WHY DOESN’T ANYONE LOVE ME. And these things are stupid and adolescent, yes, but they’re feelings a lot of us still have, at least if Tumblr is anything to go by. Ten is, and was, ridiculous, but it is also true, and we critics, and indie-rock listeners in general, increasingly seem to have a hard time understanding how those two things could go together.

As someone who was in college during the early 90s, I completely understand the sentiment. We all want to say we had every single Pavement album up to that point and eschewed “corporate rock” like Pearl Jam and Stone Temple Pilots, but the truth is we spent the summer of ‘94 with “Interstate Love Song” blasting out of our car stereos while only knowing Pavement for that “Cut Your Hair” song the local “alternative” station played in between triple shots of Nirvana. That’s something our personal revisionism can’t wipe away as much as we want to insist that we saw Dinosaur Jr at some 50-seat club despite 3000 people claiming the same thing.

Go read the article — and the comments, which are equal parts thoughtful discussion and indie-rock poseurdom.

So here’s the press release we’ve been distributing. If you’re not doing church, tweetups, or the Slog Happy Hour tonight, please swing on by.

Making It Work: Journalism and Our
Flying Car Future

WHAT: “No News is Bad News — Making It Work: Journalism and Our Flying Car Future,” a community-sponsored town hall discussion on current and near-term models for journalism success in a post-newspaper framework.

WHEN: Thursday, April 9, 2009, 7 p.m.

WHERE: Bertha Knight Landes Reception Room, Seattle City Hall, 600 4^th Ave., entrance on 5^th Avenue, downtown Seattle.

SPONSOR: Jean Godden, Seattle City Council member and former journalist.

TRANSIT/PARKING: A map showing parking and bus routes near City Hall (the block marked by the green arrow) is here.

SEATING: Admission is free.

Following up on its first community event in February, No News is Bad News now turns the focus to what business models are working or show promise to support journalism in a post-newspaper framework. We've gathered a panel of Seattle innovators who will talk about their experiences in finding and filling news niches, gaining relevance with readers, and showing advertisers the power of local.

The event is free and open to everyone. Free registration is encouraged.

No News is Bad News will feature a panel of speakers, but the focus of the event is on listening to feedback
from the community. Attendees should arrive expecting to be part of a discussion where they can share their concerns and comments. Following the event, a summary of the proceedings will be published online and shared with the community.

For more information about the event, visit http://www.nonewsisbadnews.org, or contact Dylan Wilbanks at wnalyd@gmail.com.

PANEL:

The panel will be moderated by Cory Bergman, MSNBC, an expert on the future of local media through LostRemote.com and MyBallard.com.

Other panelists will include:

Tracy Record of West Seattle Blog: Record is the editor and co-publisher of , the Seattle area's first financially self-sustaining online-only neighborhood-news operation, the only 24/7 news source for the city's biggest neighborhood. She founded WSB in
late 2005 and has been working on it full time since late 2007, when she and co-publisher/husband Patrick Sand decided to try to make a go of it as a business. Tracy also spent more than 20 years in TV news — receiving 3 Emmy Awards along the way — and 2 years with the Walt Disney Internet Group, in roles including executive producer of ABCNEWS.com.
She's also been a radio news director, newspaper reporter/editor, and even a disco-radio DJ.

Robert Khoo of Penny Arcade: Khoo is the director of business development of Penny Arcade, the show director for
PAX (the largest consumer gaming show in the United States), and is the managing director" for Child's Play, the largest gamer-charity in the world.

Mike Davidson of Newsvine: Davidson is the founder and CEO of Newsvine, which was recently acquired by msnbc.com. He invented sIFR, a technology which has enabled tens of thousands of designers to beautify the web with tens of thousands of typefaces; led the redesign of ESPN.com, the first major media site to support web standards, in 2003; and appears adjacent to Leonardo DiCaprio in their 3rd grade yearbook. Mike has no tolerance for the intolerance of imperfection on the web.

Scott Durham of Central District News and Instivate: Durham is the founder of Instivate, a Seattle start-up providing local news and advertising services, and publisher of CentralDistrictNews.com, a news and information Web site serving Seattle's Central District neighborhoods.

Rita Hibbard of InvestigationsWest: Hibbard is a former assistant managing editor for news of the Seattle P-I who led a high performing newsroom to national recognition and was instrumental in its transition from print-focused
to digitally driven. As direct editor of the investigative team, her reporters covered issues from corrupt cops to clear cutting Boy Scouts to government officials whose cronyism cost military families housing and taxpayers millions of dollars. Rita is a leader of InvestigationsWest, a new effort to preserve the investigative, narrative, and enterprising core of journalism. With her team, Rita seeks to find new ways to tell the defining stories of the West and engage new audiences in enhancing democracy and community.

Kery Murakami of the Seattle Bulldog: Murakami, formerly a reporter at the Seattle Times and the Seattle P-I, is part of a group of former P-I employees working to start an online news organization in Seattle.

So, instead, I’ll offer you an opportunity to write that piece for me. We have free tickets for two to see Big Head Todd on Friday, March 20, at the Showbox at the Market. ($30, 9pm [stg]) Just be the first person to e-mail seattle.metblogs@gmail.com asking for them (include your name and mailing address).