Seattle, I love you but you’re bringing me down
per a google image search, helena bonham carter is a christmas tree
With apologies to LCD Soundsystem, I didn’t think anything could put me into a worse mood today. It’s cold outside and the days are so short I arrive to work when it’s dark and leave when it’s dark.
The Seattle Streetcar is turning out to be the most disappointing transportation device since the Segway Scooter. The Segway Scooter even has the advantage of being cheaper. And faster, apparently.
UW president Mark Emmert, after presiding over two of the most unfortunate events to occur on campus in recent memory, lost an Athletic Director in Todd Turner whose downfall seems to have something to do with the fact that he wouldn’t sell his soul in exchange for football wins.
Then, I read this gem of a headline on the front page of the P-I’s website:
Ho-ho-no: McDermott votes against Christmas [p-i]
Congressman McDermott apparently voted against House Resolution 847 which:
“Acknowledges the international religious and historical importance of Christmas and the Christian faith.”
This, after voting in favor of House Resolutions honoring the importance of Ramadan and Diwali. P-I reporter John Iwazaki even dubbed McDermott “McGrinch”.
Frankly, what caused my mood to spiral further downward was not that McDermott voted against this resolution. I don’t care. No, what I care about is the enormous waste of time these House Resolutions are that honor this holiday or that person or, and I’m not joking, the House Joint Resolution “recognizing the contributions of Christmas tree industry to the United States economy.” [hjres 15] Yes, you read that correctly. Our United States House of Representatives spent time drafting and voting on a resolution to honor the apparently huge, positive impact that Christmas tree sales have on our economy. Allow me to reproduce, in its entirety, this important historical record:
Whereas Christmas trees have been sold commercially in the United States since the 1850s;
Whereas, by 1900, one in five American families decorated a tree during the Christmas season, while, by 1930, a decorated Christmas tree had become a nearly universal part of the American Christmas celebration;
Whereas 32.8 million households in the United States purchased a live-cut Christmas tree in 2005;
Whereas the placement and decoration of live-cut Christmas trees in town squares across the country have become an American tradition;
Whereas, for generations, American families have traveled hundreds and even thousands of miles to celebrate the Christmas season together around a live-cut Christmas tree;
Whereas 36 million live-cut Christmas trees are produced each year, and 98 percent of these trees are shipped or sold directly from Christmas tree farms;
Whereas Oregon, North Carolina, Michigan, Washington, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, New York, Minnesota, Virginia, California, and Ohio are the top producers of live-cut Christmas trees, but Christmas trees are grown in all 50 States;
Whereas there are more than 21,000 growers of Christmas trees in the United States, and approximately 100,000 people are employed in the live-cut Christmas tree industry;
Whereas many Christmas tree growers grow trees on a part-time basis to supplement their other farm and non-farm income;
Whereas growing Christmas trees provides wildlife habitat;
Whereas, in 2005, Christmas trees were planted on more than a half million acres of land;
Whereas 73 million new Christmas trees will be planted in 2006, and, on average, over 1,500 Christmas trees can be planted per acre; and
Whereas the retail value of all Christmas trees harvested in 2005 was $1.4 billion:
Now, therefore, be it resolved by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, that Congress recognizes the important contributions of the live-cut Christmas tree industry, Christmas tree growers, and persons employed in the live-cut Christmas tree industry to the United States economy.
You know what I want for Christmas? I bet you can guess.
Go here and enter “christmas” as the search term (or pick your own inane parameter) and enjoy, if you can, the results.
Related posts:
That PI story fails to mention that HR 847 was actually kind of toxic; it’s not just about recognising Christmas, but also all manners of privilege for the status of Christianity. I hate to do this to you, but Seattlest covered it in more detail.
Whoops. Didn’t see that. Oh well. I blame the short days.