You know how much we love bumbling criminals around here (and by “we” I mostly mean me), so you can imagine my delight at this in this morning’s PI:

A Federal Way man who contacted Border Patrol agents to report his cocaine missing has been charged with possession of the drug with the intent to distribute it [#].

In December, Border Patrol stopped the man because he had night vision goggles, a GPS with coordinates of a well-known drug smuggling trail, and a bunch of cash in his backpack. In January he tried to enter Canada illegally, and then in July they found him again with a backpack full of money and the GPS unit.

But then on August 7th he actually contacted immigration to report the loss of some cocaine he had hidden in some bushes. He wanted them to confirm that they had found it so that the people he works for wouldn’t think he had stolen them and get back at him. They didn’t do anything until a few weeks ago when a Boy Scout (!) found two backpacks full of cocaine and called them in. Police found and arrested the man this weekend.

Which is, I guess, good, since the people he works for might not be able to get to him in jail. At least, not if they’re equally as inept.