First there were crazy urban raccoons [mb], and now ravens hell-bent on vandalizing your car [P-I]? Clearly, the apocalypse is near. It’s almost hard to believe:

In the early-morning hours, the midnight-black bird with beady eyes peered into the visitor center window and then banged its anvillike beak on the glass for hours on end, clawing and pecking until it was bloody red.
[...]
The raven could have been pecking away at its reflection, he said.

Or maybe it was defending its territory from the two large raven murals inside.

So, the rangers covered the windows with dark butcher paper.

The raven ripped it to shreds.

Then, mysteriously, it disappeared.

The staff had no sooner relaxed, though, when the bird reappeared, this time with a companion — and a vengeance.

This is the stuff of nightmares. Now that the bird has developed a small gang, it’s ripping the rubber off of windshield wipers attached to cars parked in the North Cascades National Park visitor center. They don’t know why the birds are doing this, but they’re advising everyone to cover their windshield wipers with rags. Someone is even speculating that they have a hate on for the cars themselves, because of a bad experience with one. The ravens don’t like to do their dirty work around people, but if you catch one of them in the act you should scare them away so that maybe they’ll quit it.

Why isn’t anyone making a movie out of this?