together, alone
This weekend, perhaps to remind those who will be drinking alone on Valentine’s Day that they’re not unique, the Seattle Times examined of our city’s anti-social complex (they call the “Seattle Freeze”):
One theory points to the cloistering effect of cloudy skies. Another has it that the Seattle Nice/Ice phenomenon is rooted in a historic intersection of Nordic-Asian reserve. It may be the influence of weekend mountain men or the influx of socially disinclined tech workers. It could be a trapping of mid-sized citydom
I was pretty relieved to read the article, as I have been saying this since 1996 when I moved here for a job. Unfortunately, when I voice this concern, I get the standard old “then get out of Seattle” response which will not be an option for years for career and marital reasons.
What I related to most in the article was how so many of us move here, try to be friendly, get smacked down and then become unfriendly ourselves. That definitely happened to me. I am nowhere near the outgoing, giving, smiley, energetic person I used to be. I miss the old me.
My friend was one of the people interviewed in that article, so I’ve heard a lot about this topic. I am not a Seattle native and I don’t see what all the fuss is about.
This is the third state I’ve lived in (NJ, CA, WA). I have ALWAYS found it hard to be the new girl, regardless of which city I’m in. Other friends of mine who have moved around a lot report the same thing.
My friend blames Seattle for not welcoming her, but it’s not like she has any other transplant experience to compare it to. She left the town she grew up in and the new place was harder. In my experience, that’s classic transplant syndrome, not a Seattle-specific malady.
I’m curious to hear from other people who have transplanted more than once. Have you been the new person in a city other than Seattle? If so, what other city was it, and how did those people treat you compared to Seattle?
I think that TRICIASB makes a good point that the article misses. They seem mystified that the Seattle Freeze exists in a city where a majority of residents are recent imports when it’s likely/possible that it exists because of this. If everyone is new, then it makes being the new person even harder.
Maybe there’s an underlying culture of shyness that gets magnified by the high proportion of rootless newbies looking for circles of friends?