As far as getaways go, this is my favorite: “Under gunfire after stumbling upon suspicious activity, a Des Moines man escaped from his assailants — by unicycle [PI].” It seems that on Monday night the man passed the food bank and saw a bunch of people standing by the food storage trailers. They noticed that he had looked at him and shot at him, hitting a tree. (Poor trees are having a rough time of it lately.) He took off on his unicycle before they could fire again. Presumably, he was not also juggling or breathing fire at the time.

Neighbors heard the shots and called the police, who showed up and gave chase but were blocked by a man with the unlikely name of Fola Fola Jr. After more chasing, a little wresting, and a little chasing, he was arrested, and the man who did the shooting was caught three days later. I’m impressed that the man on the unicycle managed to keep his seat while being shot at. I guess it takes a lot of equilibrium to stay upright on one of those things.