Single in Seattle: Triathlete Boy and Identical Twin Boy

Maybe you already know. Maybe you used to know. Maybe you’ll know again soon. Whatever your perspective, this column looks to answer one question: what’s it like being single in Seattle?

So I have to confess: I was on Jdate for a while. I had just broken up with my fiance and things were desperate. I was set on dating a Jewish guy (my ex wasn’t). So there I was.

Triathlete Boy messaged me one day after we “clicked”–that is, both said “yes” to each other’s profiles. He was an engineering type from the East Coast, big into triathlons and other outdoorsy activities. Not much in common, but he did keep kosher, and he seemed like a nice enough guy. I said yes to the date.

Identical Twin Boy was just the opposite: we seemed to have everything in common. His profile quoted the same Peter Bjorn & John lyrics as I did on Facebook. His cat and my dog were both white and fluffy (his named Snowball, mine named Matzah Ball). We read the same books, watched the same movies, listened to the same music, and I had a history of falling hard for guys who met that description.

But the same thing happened on both dates: they could barely look at me, let alone talk to me! They sat opposite me mumbling into their tea cups, staring into them as if seeing the answer to the universe.

It’s not just me: a number of friends have noted the same experience with alarming frequency. And at a much greater frequency than other cities I’ve lived in.

What’s up with that, Seattle? Is it just the higher frequency of engineering types here that correlates to and/or causes this? Is it just the higher frequency of shy people on dating websites? Or is it a Seattle phenomenon? Does something in the clouds make men turn inwards?

3 Comments so far

  1. burgin99 on June 27th, 2008 @ 10:46 am

    More Seattle, less recap of your dates please.


  2. katelyn on June 27th, 2008 @ 12:25 pm

    It’s probably caused by the same thing that boosts MS rates in the Northwest. (joke)

    In my experience, dating online is usually awkward because you (I) make an immediate emotional connection/assumption of a connection based on data and not based on what it’s like to actually be in the person’s presence. The facts about a person and the Person him/herself can be/often are two entirely different spheres of reality — not because people lie (that happens too) but because humans have more to them than factual characteristics and "presentation." Maybe it’s just how I operate personally, but I have to actually be in someone’s presence to really get a feel for who they are and what they’re about, as opposed to how they present themselves. Meaningful, fulfilling relationships need to be about what’s behind the presentation (at least, I believe this) — and for me, it’s better to start off with at least the possiblity of getting an intuitive, gut-level "this is a good person" sense rather than filtering through people based on their age/height/love of James Bond.

    That said, of course I’ve tried it and had a lot of fun. Some guys are definitely less awkward than others.


  3. gargamello on July 1st, 2008 @ 7:27 am

    Since when are Jewish guys not shy awkward and introverted?? Isn’t the what all the humor of "Curb your Enthusiasm", a lot of Seinfeld and certain chunks of Adam Sandler all about?

    Katelyn – some guys are a lot less awkward than others, true. And some girls are a lot more succinct than others.



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