Comments on: Single in Seattle: Okcupid Boy (or, The Seattle Freeze Revisited)

By: John Eddy

John Eddy — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 15:39:53 +0000

@gargamello:

Funny enough, I met most of my girlfriends just sitting around doing nothing and, in fact, I wasn’t trying to make anything happen with them… it just happened.

By: gargamello

gargamello — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 14:59:10 +0000

Oh and all of you saying "it’s so much harder here in Seattle" that’s bullshit. Come on. You’re saying Seattle is harder to socialize bc the people are smarter? Stop making excuses and try harder. Seattle is a cool city with a lot of fascinating people. Try making friends in bumfuk Iowa where people just sit around watching corn grow all day. Much harder.

By: gargamello

gargamello — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 14:54:16 +0000

Ok here’s the problem. I’m going to put it in caps so it’s very clear:

YOU CAN’T MEET PEOPLE SITTING ANYWHERE. YOU CAN’T JUST SIT AND WAIT FOR IT TO HAPPEN, FOR IT TO COME TO YOU. YOU HAVE TO GO OUT AND MAKE IT HAPPEN.

You have to participate in activities with other people in which you share a common interest. This means clubs, meetups, organizations that bring people together, whether that be a running group, yoga group, Obama/McCain group, cooking group, writing group, yelp group, sailing or Vespa group, urban knitting, whatever. You have to go out and meet up with these people and display a sense of excitement and energy and talk to them. Some of them won’t like you and will ignore you – so what. The ones that will are worth it.

That is how you make friends and meet people. I am a nerd named gargamello and I can do it, so if you’re a 21 year old bookishly hot chick, you sure as hell can.

By: John Eddy

John Eddy — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 19:39:36 +0000

I wonder if I’m the only person in the world who didn’t recognize okcupid as Ok Cupid for few minutes… I tried to figure out if it was some cthulu related dating site or something….

By: katelyn

katelyn — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 18:10:08 +0000

Doing social things is a good way to meet people — volunteer or something. Usually, if I see someone sitting alone in a public place, I leave them be! And I think, "how nice that they are getting some alone time," grab my drink and enjoy my own slice of peace & quiet. But if I know everyone in the room is there to hang out and do something we’re all interested in, then I’ll be much more social and strike up conversations. I’m assuming boys do the same thing.

By: yayunicorns

yayunicorns — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 17:55:14 +0000

i meant to also add that i think it gets slightly easier when you have a job (depending on the job). you’re in a confined space with people, and hopefully you’ll make friends with these people. it’s how i found my last 2 boyfriends.

but as a student you must have study sessions? or go to the gym? those could be good places to meet guys.

the best advice i think i could give is be approachable. this means lose the ipod and the cell phone. sit in a coffee shop and read a book or the stranger or something. if you sit long enough i bet someone will approach you or at least say hi. the ipod and phone have become this thing that isolates you, thus people won’t go near you. trust me on this one. i’ve never wanted to talk to someone who’s texting away on their stupid phone. but if i saw that they were reading something i’ve never read i’d go up to them and ask about it.

By: josh

josh — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 06:06:58 +0000

wait — people meet each other without the help of the internet?

By: wesa

wesa — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 03:56:58 +0000

I’ve met many friends and past boyfriends through other people. I met my husband while drunk at a goth club, of all places. I met Mike online playing Counterstrike while we lived in two states and now he’s like my little brother. Mostly, you need to be the one to follow up with others, introduce yourself, maintain networks, and don’t force things.

By: yayunicorns

yayunicorns — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 20:31:29 +0000

there is something weird about seattle. i can’t quite pinpoint it, but compared to every city i’ve lived in the guys here just don’t seem to get it. my boyfriend and i repeatedly have to tell our guy friends, that the girl who just asked you a stupid question might want a drink from you. she might actually want to talk to you. otherwise she wouldn’t have asked the stupid question in a loud bar, when she has her friends to talk to.

as for going online, i had great experiences in detroit (actually i didn’t get a boyfriend but i did gain a best friend). but here, all i got were total weirdos. jdate was the worst of them all, because let’s face it. seattle is simply a white, once protestant now i’m not so sure anymore, city.

is it because there are too many tech nerds who like to hide in their dungeons so they have no social skills? probably. is it because there are too many artists here who are too into themselves that they don’t realize a girl is looking at them? probably.

i was once told all i had to do is tell a guy that i wanted to kiss him and bam, it would happen. i’m just not that kind of girl, and luckily i have a great boyfriend for a year now so i don’t have to search around seattle anymore. but i feel for ya girl. it’s not easy out there. and for some reason, especially here.

good luck and god speed. you’ll need it.

By: jessejb

jessejb — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 20:30:55 +0000

Im suprised to be hearing this from a female in Seattle considering there are WAY more single men here as opposed to single women. And yes, the Freeze exists, you just have to find a way around it. Try to make friends with transplants, for one. Took me 2 years since returning here after being away in college to figure that out. And I grew up here. =( If you drag your butt out of your apartment and keep a positive attitude, especially in the dark winter months, extroverted people will be drawn to you for the same reason youre looking for them.