Single in Seattle: Blogger Boy No. 2, The End

Maybe you already know. Maybe you used to know. Maybe you’ll know again soon. Whatever your perspective, this column looks to answer one question: what’s it like being single in Seattle?
Post #3 in a series starting here and continued here.

So what happened after I broke up with my boyfriend? Not much, to be honest. Blogger Boy No. 2 started avoiding me. We would plan get togethers, then he would be “too busy” and cancel. I wrote on my LiveJournal, “So you know that guy I drunkenly mentioned a few days ago? Ugh. Ugh. This is turning into such a mess. I just talked to him a few minutes ago and ended up with tears in my eyes. Either this guy has the best work ethic in the history of mankind or he’s seriously blowing me off.”

And it turned out he was seriously blowing me off. Finally I just gave up and decided to just be friends. I called him and told him as much. He says, “Well, good, because I’ve been meaning to tell you, I was dating this girl and things have turned sort of serious…”

I’ll leave you to sort out the many-layered irony of this ending for yourself. But it does bring up a number of lessons about being single in Seattle.

First, don’t put the burden of a major decision, possibly a major life decision, on to one person. I had been mulling a breakup for months but finally found a catalyst in BB2. That’s the wrong way to go about it. It puts tremendous pressure on the catalyst, and isn’t healthy for you.

Second, guilt is a multi-faceted thing. If the other person starts getting all guilty, there’s probably more to the situation than what he or she is saying.

Finally, don’t drink wine in Volunteer Park. You may end up falling for someone who wears yellow flip-flops and doesn’t know who Dana Vachon is.

8 Comments so far

  1. donte on June 20th, 2008 @ 10:10 am

    i was thinking i’d sugarcoat this, but screw that. this series of posts was awful, both because of its general solipsism and its general irrelevance. i second my call for you to get a livejournal.

    this idea could have worked. most blogging is the relating of personal experience into some grander meaning. this, however, didn’t build into some seattle-wide statement even with those few closing lines, but instead was a case of you getting wooed, then dropped by someone you had great chat with. maybe you haven’t realized this yet, but that’s DATING. sometimes they work, most times they don’t. doesn’t make it worthy of airing someone else’s business.

    seriously metblogs, what the hell? yayunicorns blindsides you with TMI in otherwise harmless posts (although not for a bit thankfully), now it’s entire posts that don’t fit the charter. less of this garbage, more posts that prove your seattle omnipresence please.

  2. audrey on June 20th, 2008 @ 10:13 am

    Donte FTW!

  3. tonyb on June 20th, 2008 @ 11:24 am

    These did seem a bit weird and out of the blue and have NOTHING to do with Seattle. I agree with Donte, this isn’t very Seattle specific and could be found in any city. Now if the posts were about the merits of going to certain Seattle spots for dates, that would be at least relevant.

  4. Chaya (chaya) on June 20th, 2008 @ 3:49 pm

    Personally I see the mission of Metblogs as telling the stories of life in Seattle, and this is a story of my life. If you don’t like it, fine, don’t read it. But this is my life. I take a big tent approach to what is Seattle-specific. I find personal posts more interesting than cut-and-pastes of newspaper articles so that’s what I write.

  5. jcoutts on June 20th, 2008 @ 4:22 pm

    You mentioned Live Journal earlier in the post could you please keep the stories such as this there for your closest friends. You may find it interesting but a majority of the readers here find information about Seattle interesting.

  6. donte on June 20th, 2008 @ 5:26 pm

    OK Chaya, I don’t entirely disagree with your thoughts on the mission of Metblogs, but I’ll spell out what I mean a little clearer, since while your story is based in Seattle, it doesn’t generalize to Seattle itself (just because it happened here doesn’t make it location-specific). Here are the various points where you could have written a post that wouldn’t have earned my ire (and it’s nothing personal – you seem nice enough outside of the violations of blogger boy no. 2’s privacy, I just don’t think this belongs here).

    * The fact that this whole story begins centered online would be grounds for a great post. Between the fact that *everyone* has a blog, an LJ, MySpace, Facebook, or some general online presence, arguably more here than elsewhere, you could argue it changes the rules of dating. You reference technology a lot in this series of posts. Are we all just nerds? Probably. I’m pretty sure flirty exchanges using HTTP error codes don’t happen everywhere.

    * The first meetup you had wasn’t coffee, but was a picnic in Volunteer Park. Is that the best meetup spot ever? The worst? What other park could have worked to similar effect? Does Seattle have the best "date parks" ever?

    * After that first date you mention a chaste goodbye followed eventually by racy chat. Is that a Seattle thing? Are we so wrapped up in our online lives that we can’t generate heat in person, but have to do so through 1s and 0s? Hell, you could have gotten plenty of comments here if you’d tied his "you have a boyfriend" shutdown to the Seattle Freeze (look it up if you aren’t familiar. It’s comment-generating gold in the 206.)

    * You mention his not knowing Dana Vachon. We’re the most well-read city in the country and a guy doesn’t know who Dana Vachon is. Does our well-read status afford us the luxury of ruling people out on trivialities? An argument that says "yes" has potential for humor.

    * You were effectively cheating on your boyfriend. Infidelity in Seattle? Possible blog-gold.

    That’s what comes to mind first. There are plenty of other directions this could have taken, making your personal anecdote apply to an audience that has no relationship to you or the not-so-thinly-veiled blogger boy no. 2. You didn’t take them, but I hope you keep your audience in mind for the future (ask your editors if your "big tent" approach is aligned with theirs). Metblogs is about Seattle, not you, and there are plenty of ways to more effectively blend the two.

  7. Chaya (chaya) on June 20th, 2008 @ 5:30 pm

    Thanks for the great comment, donte. I just may take you up on some of those ideas in the future!

  8. alejo699 on June 21st, 2008 @ 10:36 am

    Wasn’t Dana Vachon a fullback for the Rams during the ’86 – ’87 season? No?

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