Fremont: The Briefcase Relay Sucks
The Briefcase Relay occurred this evening in Fremont. Oh, you’ve never heard of the Briefcase Relay? What a coincidence, neither had I until I discovered that my street was closed because of it — at 6 PM DURING FRIDAY NIGHT RUSH HOUR. N 34th from Stone Way to Fremont Ave was entirely closed — no local access. Traffic, normally heavy during this time anyway, was backed up all the way to Seattle Pacific University on Nickerson. I would assume it was just as bad on Westlake and Dexter as cars and buses and bikes and pedestrians all vied for precious space to make their way into and through Fremont. It was an ugly scene that got uglier when I discovered I had no access to my own building and NO ADVANCED WARNING that this race was occurring.
So, hey, Briefcase Relay Organizers: How’s it going? Did you enjoy tonight? Your race sure is hip and funky. I mean, wow, dressing up in office clothes and carrying a briefcase with a phone book in it is really wild. But, could you do me a favor for next time you decide to un-cubicle your lives? Let the people who live in the area know in advance. You know, hand a flyer out to the management of the buildings. That way I won’t waste time and GAS driving around looking for a parking space for thirty minutes. Because right now, sirs and madams, I’m fucking cranky about this. BETTER YET, DON’T HOLD A RACE DURING RUSH HOUR ON A FRIDAY NIGHT.
I’m sending you an invoice for my time spent searching for a parking spot (plus mileage). Net 15 terms are fine.