I’ve been reading a number of articles lately about why Hillary’s campaign failed. The more I read them, though, the more I see these strange similarities between Hillary’s debacle and the debacle that has been the 2008 Mariners season.

Consider:

Hillary: Went for a win-now strategy focused on early states, fell apart when that strategy failed
M’s: Went for a win-now strategy focused on trading for Erik Bedard, fell apart when he hit the disabled list

Hillary: Stuck with an old-campaign model of relying on big contributions from veteran political pros while poo-pooing the Obama team’s philosophy of loading up on small contributions from younger folks
M’s: Stuck with an old-baseball model of relying on big contributions from declining veterans while poo-pooing the Moneyball philosophy of loading up on small contributions from cheap younger players

Hillary: Kept throwing Mark Penn on TV, who remained tone-deaf to the constructive criticism of seasoned pundits — and reality
M’s: Kept throwing Howard Lincoln at the fans, who remains tone-deaf to the constructive criticism of baseball bloggers — and reality

Hillary: Offensive when she went on offense
M’s: Just plain offensive on offense

Hillary: 11 straight primary/caucus losses and she was behind Obama
M’s: 8 straight losses and they were behind the Angels… and the A’s, Rangers, and everyone else in the American League

Hillary: Relied on Bill as her “closer,” only to have Bill do his best to injure his reputation
M’s: Relied on JJ Putz as their “closer,” only to have Putz do his best to injure his rib cartilage

Hillary: Bill can’t stop putting his foot in his mouth and damaging the campaign
M’s: McLaren can’t stop throwing out bad lineups and damaging their chances of winning

Hillary: Had trouble dealing with the press
M’s: Have Erik Bedard giving really bad interviews with the press

Hillary: When everything was failing, went populist
M’s: When everything was failing, started Miguel Cairo at first

Hillary: Stuck with her Arkansas cronies that didn’t add any value to the campaign, such as Patti Solis Doyle.
M’s: Stuck with local kids that didn’t add any value to the team, such as Willie Bloomquist.

Hillary: Tried replacing people in the campaign with new blood, didn’t work.
M’s: Tried calling up Clement and Balentien from Tacoma, didn’t work.

Hillary: Relied on meaningless late primaries in woebegone states to finally get the campaign going again
M’s: Relying on meaningless series win over the woebegone Padres to finally get the team going again

Hillary: Suggests that blacks might be the problem
M’s: Suggest that their Japanese catcher might be the problem

Hillary: Spent tens of millions of dollars on a mediocre campaign, can’t account for much of the money
M’s: Spent tens of millions of dollars on Carlos Silva, can’t account for why they thought he could pitch

Hillary: Despite there still being primaries and superdelegates left to decide, Hillary is done
M’s: Despite there still being 2/3rds of the season to play, the Mariners are done

Hillary: And yet, she still thinks she has a shot.
M’s: And yet, they still think they have a shot… nah, they’re done-er than a Thanksgiving turkey.