Prediction: “Skinny” drinks from Starbucks will be off the menu in 6 months
This will be short: Using a gift card a well-intentioned relative gave to me for Christmas, I tried a Skinny Mocha today at Starbucks.
Disgusting. Absolutely horrific.
It was melted chocolate glue with a bitter aftertaste. After one sip I felt a sudden desire to pour gasoline in my mouth followed by a match. The memory of that sip will haunt my taste buds for the rest of 2008.
I demanded my friend try it. Upon tasting it he exclaimed, “Oh my God. That’s what I imagine one of those fake coffee drinks from Chevron tastes like. You can’t even taste the coffee!”
And then he pretended to puke.
Are there that many diabetics in this country that a menu full of this crap will actually sell? I swear, the next installment of Jackass should be an hour and a half of Johnny Knoxville and crew drinking Skinny Lattes from Starbucks.
Has anyone else tried one of these things? Did you feel like drinking turpentine afterward?
Update: Monica Eng of the Chicago Tribune had this to say about the Skinny Mocha [tribune]:
Although the drink sported a nice fluffy head of skim foam, the drink underneath was thin, weak and infused with a weird chemical flavor. The whole thing was reminiscent of something you would have gotten out of a 1980s-style coffee machine and then complained about.
Ostensibly, somewhere in the drink there is a shot of Starbucks “Signature espresso” and perhaps some real cocoa powder but you wouldn’t know it in this whisper of a drink that makes you feel like you are depriving and poisoning yourself at the same time.
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According to the National Diabetes Information Clearinghouse, in 2005 there were 20.8 million diabetics in the U.S. — about 7% of the population. Of course, some of us don’t like coffee in any guise, but compared to some of the swill we have to drink, skinny lattes are pretty good.
I don’t know, I’ve tried some sugar free chocolate that is probably some of the best chocolate I’ve ever had. I think the Starbucks’ chemists fell asleep at the wheel when they came up with these.
Well, I cannot speak for Starbucks but a lot of the sugar free drinks are pretty tasty. I find that some of the sugar free syrups are good- others are bad. Sugar free vanilla does tend to have an after taste but sugar free blueberry is very tasty.
I am happy that more companies are offering the sugar free drinks so that my diabetic husband can enjoy them.
Signed,
Wife of a quad shot americano with sugar free vanilla drinker (from Fuel Coffee - not Sbux)
I think the problem is going for the “skinny” mocha. taking the sugar and fat out of chocolate is just asking for trouble.
I tasted one yesterday. It was the cinnamon dolce. I wasn’t crazy about the cinnamon flavor, but I appreciated the healthier latte. Next time I’ll have a regular skinny latte.
Carol
Josh made the point that maybe it’s the mocha that’s bad and the lattes might be better. I’m going to get a Skinny Latte today and see if there’s a difference.
Hey Ryan - Great article. I pass on the sugar-free stuff because of the chemical sweeteners. Not only do they taste bad, some research shows they contribute to neurological diseases like Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. Of course, sugar is a close friend of cancer and diabetes. At least it tastes better. :-)
I tried one last night. It prompted me to post my experience on Metroblogging San Jose: Starbucks: Better in San Jose.
Thanks Ryan. That’s important information to consider.
(Also, to clarify for other readers, that’s a *different* Ryan Healy — I’m not schizo.)
A sugar-free espresso drink can be tasty. I’m drinking one right now. It’s called a cappucino.
Properly roasted and poured, espresso has a sweet taste. The milk is organic, whole, fresh. Properly steamed milk has a sweet flavor due to carmelization of the natural sugars in the milk.
Two ounces of espresso and two ounces of milk (micro-foamed to four ounces) doesn’t have many calories.
Imagine that.