You know how much we love bumbling criminals around here (and by “we” I mostly mean me), so you can imagine my delight at this in this morning’s PI:

A Federal Way man who contacted Border Patrol agents to report his cocaine missing has been charged with possession of the drug with the intent to distribute it [#].

In December, Border Patrol stopped the man because he had night vision goggles, a GPS with coordinates of a well-known drug smuggling trail, and a bunch of cash in his backpack. In January he tried to enter Canada illegally, and then in July they found him again with a backpack full of money and the GPS unit.

But then on August 7th he actually contacted immigration to report the loss of some cocaine he had hidden in some bushes. He wanted them to confirm that they had found it so that the people he works for wouldn’t think he had stolen them and get back at him. They didn’t do anything until a few weeks ago when a Boy Scout (!) found two backpacks full of cocaine and called them in. Police found and arrested the man this weekend.

Which is, I guess, good, since the people he works for might not be able to get to him in jail. At least, not if they’re equally as inept.

Halloween is a month and a half away, but the Hugo House on Capitol Hill is getting a head start on scary season by soliciting spooky stories for their Halloween reading event.

“Time”, “Space” and “Mind” are the three writing prompts from which aspiring award-winning authors can choose to base their short (under 5000 words) stories. The winner of the writing competition will receive a cash prize plus the opportunity to read his or her winning story at the Hugo House’s Halloween party on October 31 at 7 pm. For more details about the compeition or the party itself, visit their website.

photo by b mully [flickr] via our user-powered group pool [#]. please show us something pretty.

• Even a public intern can’t solve the chaos of DJ Riz’s home record collection. [slog]
• Worst Football Weekend EVER: caused by a roommate’s bad luck girlfriend? [seattlest]
• (male) sports fans have dirty hands. [citizenrain]
• No, Feist didn’t lift moves from Mandance. [hotsplice]
• When a piece needs a bold “this is humor” footnote, maybe it needs to be funnier? [crosscut]
• Microsoft, Starbucks, WaMu, Nordstrom, & REI get perfect scores from Human Rights Campaign on the Corporate Equality Index. [qseattle]
• Sean Nelson looks at Chris Crocker, sees Tarnation. [slog]

Photo by Denny Trimble via Flickr. Those kids in Portland sure know how to have a good time!

• Get down to City Hall this afternoon and show your support for the Seattle Nightlife and Music Association [SLOG]
• Stop by CHAC for a one-night-only showing of The Pornography of the Bicycle. Reverend Phil is taking this 90-minute program of short films on the theme of Bike Porn on tour throughout Cascadia. It is sure to be entertaining, ridiculous, and offensive. Think of it as a two-wheeled prelude to HUMP!
• Round out the evening with The Cinematic Orchestra at Neumo’s. I’m really excited to see one more of my favorite obscure bands from Europe stopping by Seattle (see also: Stereo Total).

grundlepuck [flickr] shared this photo of the bridge motel by putting it in our our group pool [#].

• Bridge Motel: “the clog of bodies on the stairs and in the temporary galleries was stunning” [arttogo]
• Mars Hill holds “halleiujahpalooza” mass baptism in the company of baby seals. [westseattleblog]
• the Weekly‘s music blog has planned a pretty excellent local music festival to takeover Ballard on 6 October. [reverb]
• At least one sea bird had a good weekend. Great photos of the eagle of West Seattle. [beachdrive]
• Sub Pop interview with Jeff Kleinsmith reveals the ace designer’s most humiliating internet moments. [subpop]
• The SpaceToilets, almost constant use, are such “havens for drug deals and prostitution” that the city might be willing to lose $750,000 to be rid of them. [sfgate]
• The perfect excuse to delay viaduct planning? Downtown will be fine, but look at what happens to Seattle’s waterfront when global warming causes the the sea to rises by three meters. [horsesass/abc]

The rumors are flying tonight that the Sonics ownership and the Muckleshoots have reached some sort of agreement on building an arena at Emerald Downs in Auburn. There’s no official confirmation, but there’s been no official denial either.

I’m thinking this is more rumor than fact, though. For one thing, the rumored “press conference” tomorrow was reported by the News-Tribune on Saturday to be just the Muckleshoot’s consultants giving their feasibility study. For another, the blog that initially reported the rumors says the press conference will be Monday, September 17.

Sonics Central, as always, is on it, and they don’t seem to trust the rumors, either.

Some part of me thinks it’s just a misunderstanding, that we’re really getting a Sonic in Auburn. Cherry limeades for everyone!

photo by our own joshc [flickr]

Excited as I was to see The New Pornographers (one of my favorite bands) live for the first time, my socks were knocked completely off by Becky Stark of Lavender Diamond. She arrived on stage wearing what looked like a wedding dress (or was she dressed as a ballerina?) and immediately ingratiated herself to the audience by relating a charming story about an experience with the Seattle Police Department’s mounted patrol. Apparently, Becky and band mates were enjoying a piroshky on the lawn near Pike Place Market when a police officer riding a large horse presented himself beside them. Her initial reaction of awe at the majesty and power of the large creature was interrupted when it began peeing. Right next to them. For a long time. While they were eating. The story of this horse peeing, as told by the ethereal-voiced Stark, was something to behold. And then she started singing and angels descended from heaven and unicorns and a Pegasus and fairies and Leprechauns appeared out of nowhere. Then the song ended and she went back to the peeing horse story. This was the general tenor of Lavender Diamond’s performance. It was at once whimsical and funny and unbelievably beautiful. Those familiar with her probably don’t need any reminder that Stark is special. For the unfamiliar, it bears mentioning that Stark is a rare talent. Whether Lavender Diamond is the right vehicle for her remains to be seen. I do know I’ll be watching her career closely from here on out.

More after the jump.
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animal collective // neumo’s // 14 sepetmber 2007

What’s that? I’m sorry, you’ll have to speak up. I saw Animal Collective last night and my ears are still recovering. It was pretty much the loudest show I’ve ever experienced and I think I liked it even though I sort of agree with the things that Jeff Kirby wrote about the it [lineout]. It’s just that most of the things that annoyed him were things that I was happy to accept for the length of the show.

That said, I’m left stumped at the challenge of mustering any sort of intellectual response. Instead, more babbling after the jump.
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Seattle, I’m so very disappointed. I’m so disappointed and mad, that I’m doing something so foreign, so rare… I’m hand writing this post while I’m away from my computer. I just tried to have lunch at Zayda Buddy’s pizza, a new restaurant from the owner of Bauhaus and Top Pot donuts. I say tried, because after more than an hour and a half of broken promises and very possibly the worst customer service I have EVER experienced, we walked out.

Now I am generally very forgiving. In fact, I’ve tried to imagine the circumstances in which I’d write a bad restaurant review. I couldn’t. But today, I realize I no longer have to imagine it, I’ve lived it.

To be completely fair, the food we did eat was decent. One could even say it was good. The menu looked promising. The delivery, was in my mind, inexcusible.

Details after the jump.
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