http://mad-eponine.livejournal.com/12160.html
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From: “Mr CHARLES TONDERAI MUDEDE”
Subject: YOUR URGENT HELP
Date: Sat, 22 Oct 2005 20:08:08 +0000

FROM MR CHARLES TONDERAI MUDEDE

TEL 00225-05-13-76-14

Dear beloved ,

I am writting you this letter with due respect and heart full of tears I
need your help, I got your name and contact from a trust-worthy editor who
assured me of your diction and that you will help me to transfer this
vocabulary.

I am MR CHARLES TONDERAI MUDEDE, the only Son of late Mr MOOKIE BLAYLOCK
may God rest his soul. My father was a very Rich and wealthy
Real Estate Speculator in Central D’Istrict the cultural Capital of
urban archipelago in Seatle ,

I want to let you know that my philosophy was poisoned by Proust while my
objective reporting skills died when i am little and my father taught me so
special because I am his only son. Before the death of my father on 13th
August 2005 in a hospital here in Central D’strict, he secretly told me
that he has the sum of (VERY GOOD 7 MILLION U.S WORDS) which he deposited
in a newspaper box here in Central D’Istrict. he made this vocabulary from the
sales of Ghetto Islands,

He also told me that it was because of my Police Beat he was poisoned by his
seattle police while on a strip club trip with them and he instructed me to
look for a writing partner who will help me transfer this vocabulary out of
republic of Central D’Istrict and invest it for me,
my purpose of contacting you is for you to help transfer these words to
your writing before this people who kill my
father will kill me ,this people who kill my father are after my column and
they want to kill me and collect this vocabulary from me , that is why I’m
now hiding my self here so that they will not read me, please i need your
urgent help, Tell me how much percentage you will take in the total amount of
the 7 MILLION WORDS to help me in transfering this vocabulary to your writing.

If you will agree to this transfer then please I ask you to send writing
samples to me of good quality worthy for publication in major newspaper.
Send several as measure of good faith and then I will transfer vocabulary
to you as measure of my good faith.

but you have to assure me that you will help me fully to transfer the Words
to your writing , l hope you will not betray the trust i have on you because
this vocabulary is my only hope in this life ,and moreover you will also help me
to come over to your newspaper were i will settel down for my life and invest
this vocabulary for me. i can assure you there is No Risk involve the vocabulary
is an inheritance from my late father,

I am waiting to hear from you,

MR CHARLES TONDERAI MUDEDE
00225-05-13-76-14

But a nice effort, nonetheless.

So, soi-disant contest jesters, spare me your ur capitalistic “contests,” as I am off to consider the sunset, which in its round bosomy perfection, encompasses the apogee of echt human endeavor.