I will admit that there are a lot of things that gross me out; things that most people just don’t care about, but that I will obsess over for weeks. I will also admit that there are a lot more pressing and urgent matters that should be discussed with much seriousness and depth. But I can’t hold it in any longer, Seattle. These are things that must be aired and discussed and made sure never happen again.

#1. I mentioned a list. At the top of that very long, exhaustive list is nail clipping. Number two is feet. Okay, not all feet are gross, but let’s face it, most are. Do you know where I’m going with this?

Yes, it’s true. I witnessed a man…a man engaged in a very, very questionable activity the other day at the bus stop. It was the Alki bus stop that is situated just outside the Alki Bakery. The Alki Bakery with its large picture windows; windows where patrons, innocently eating their breakfast pastries and drinking coffee can gaze out and see the scenic vista of…this man. Clipping. His. Toe. Nails. At. The. Bus. Stop. That clipping noise combined with the horror of this man’s feet will haunt me for months.

Please, man, never ever do this again. I beg of you. Everyone else be wary at the Alki bus stop. You never know what might hit you. Shudder.

#2. I found out recently that in my office building, I repeat, office building, not medical building nor medical office building, some company is doling out face lifts. I am creeped out that this is happening, not just in my building, but on the floor beneath mine. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge anyone their face lifts, but why oh why must this be going on whilst I toil away at my spreadsheets and internet reading?

Can I be contaminated by face lifts on another floor? Am I ridiculous? Perhaps, but still, it’s weird, right? I shouldn’t say this, but don’t go in the convention center office tower, you may, as a fellow elevator rider informed me, see a woman with blood on her shirt.

#3. One of the writers on this site is possessed. By the demons that live under her house. I wonder if you can guess which one it is.

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2. Pike Place Market cures all ills
3. Can it be true? A market on Alki?
4. I-5 underbelly to get less creepy
5. West Seattle Gossip: Alki Market