The Mariners made it official about an hour ago:

Seattle Mariners Executive Vice President & General Manager of Baseball Operations Bill Bavasi announced today that the Mariners have signed All-Star centerfielder Ichiro Suzuki to a five-year contract extension. Per club policy, terms of the contract — which covers the 2008-2012 seasons — were not disclosed.

Here in town, you can guess what the reaction is. The Metrobloggers that are sports fans (all three of us) are chuffed. The ones that aren’t could care less about your local sports team, but they’re too busy dealing with their own demons and obnoxious boys.

Meanwhile, one Florida Marlins exec… you should just read it:

I would say it’s the end of the world as we know it. If Ichiro is worth $20 million a year … I am speechless by that contract. I’m hoping that report is false, because there’s no chance a top-of-the-lineup guy — forget that, anybody — is worth that much. And Ichiro, who’s led his team to zero, nothing?… It’s unbelievable. You know what, everybody gets what they deserve, and I guess that will be more luxury tax money, more revenue-sharing money they’ll have to give. I’m sure it can’t be true. There’s no way they gave $20 million a year to Ichiro, at his age for five years. There’s no way…. Literally, it will take the sport down, that contract. We’re right back to the ridiculous contracts. It can’t be.

Yow. That’s the kind of incomprehensible bile you expect from, say, a weekly “indie” paper that’s jumped the shark so many times in the last couple of years you wonder if you’re actually in Gitmo being tortured by reruns of Happy Days. (see also) And anyway, didn’t he hear A-Rod’s agent wants at least $30M a year? I wonder if the poor guy’s head will explode upon news of that.

(Why is it we have a term for citing the Nazis in an attempt to short-circuit an argument (that is, Godwin’s Law), but not one for comparing an event to the end of the world?)

Anyway, you probably didn’t need to hear this from me, since Seth already covered it, and has e-mailed Deadspin about it 15,000 times in the last hour. Memo to Seth: I’ve met Will Leitch. You two are a lot alike, but you would not make a cute couple. Get over it.

But Ichiro is staying in Seattle until the world ends. Hallelujah. Now let’s get some runs.