Heading out to the Gorge for Sasquatch Festival this weekend? Here at metblogs we thought we’d help you out with a little guide for how to make it there and back and even enjoy the show with out risking your safety or anyone elses. Here we have the list of ‘guidelines’ from the Gorge and Sasquatch websites, and also the best alternative.

THEY SAY: We recommend hat, sunglasses, and sunscreen for daytime, and a warm jacket for the evening. Please bring all necessary items with you, for there is NO RE-ENTRY,
WE SAY: Yes, but also make sure that your coat has lots of pockets so you don’t have to drag a giant bag around with you. You might start to resemble the Michelin man by the time you head to the tents, but it will be worth it when you are trying to push your way to the front to see up Bjork’s swan shaped skirt and don’t have to worry about whacking that large guy with tattoos with your Timbuktu!

THEY SAY: No Alcoholic beverages, cans and bottles
WE SAY: I have no advice here. If you see me being frisked at security, that will not be a flask duct taped up near my nether regions. I repeat, no advice.

THEY SAY: No factory sealed soda bottles
WE SAY: Really, if you add a little of the rum you didn’t sneak in into your $5 soda, it suddenly seems like a better deal.

THEY SAY: No Recording devices, Professional cameras, Video equipment
WE SAY: Wouldn’t it take the fun out of it if you didn’t get to show your friends the grainy images you took on your phone in which the Beastie Boys look like little jumping beans? Since all they really care about is really fancy detachable lens type things, you don’t really want to bring that in anyways–Unless you have someone lined up to buy those photos, it will not be worth it to lose your camera at the gate.

THEY SAY: Factory sealed water bottles of “normal” size will be allowed in. (no 5 gallon. type containers)
WE SAY: Bring alot of these. It gets hot and you will go broke trying to buy water all day. Also, empty containers are allowed and there are places to get clean water.

THEY SAY: Outside food is allowed, but must be in clear plastic bag
WE SAY: That’s okay, have a look at the beauty of a chicken salad sandwich I made this morning!

THEY SAY: Small Backpacks Are Allowed!
WE SAY: They don’t define this very well, I reccomend the pockets (see above) for easy manuverability. Though stuffing pockets is less reccomended for trying to pick up the guy with the long hair and dope chronic at the campsite next to you.

THEY SAY: Doors at 11am, Will Call at 9
WE SAY: Get there at least an hour before you plan to see a show–It takes a while to get your tent set up, walk down, go through security and run in to the kid you played doctor with when you were little.

AND A FEW MORE THINGS FROM METBLOGS:

–It gets cold at night, and there is no better way to enjoy the beautiful sunset than snuggling up in a big old blanket. It’s worth bringing one. Sit on it during the day, wrap up at night.

–Be careful in the camping area. Someone decided it was a brilliant idea to intermingle cars and tents. If you don’t like noisy drunks and pot smoke, we reccomend camping elsewhere. Bring a flashlight or prepare to trip over the passed out kid on your way to the loo.

– The Will Call ticket line can be nightmarishly long: pay to print
or have them mailed.

– There’s a super greasy greasy spoon restaurant in Ellensburg that’s
THE place to go to nurse any hangovers before driving back to Seattle.

– Don’t forget your tickets. really. make a note, check it twice. if
you do forget (this seems to happen with some regularity in a group
of even modest size), those ticketmaster fees pay off because they
can somehow re-issue them with a few phone calls. But then you are spending the day getting tickets and will miss Gabriel Teodoros who is great and plays at 1:05! So just don’t forget them.

Hope this helps you find your way and keep it safe! Feel free to leave other tips below.