What?

EVERETT, Wash. - A Seattle man has been charged with a slew of crimes that involved an alleged shoplifting, assaults and a pet duck named Mr. Peepers. Snohomish County Deputy Prosecutor Paul Stern on Thursday charged Kenneth Blaine Quinlan, 35, with two counts of third-degree assault and one count each of vehicular assault and hit-and-run.

Stern wrote in court papers that a security guard thought he saw Quinlan shoplift an iPod speaker system, and a scuffle ensued.

The man jumped into the driver’s seat of the car as the woman walked out of the store with her duck. Not knowing what was going on, she tried to stop him from driving away and was knocked down by the open car door as it backed up. She dropped the duck.

Charging papers say Quinlan continued driving and didn’t stop until his vehicle struck another car nearby.

Quinlan was being held in the Snohomish County Jail in lieu of $25,000 bail. A convicted felon and former heroin addict, he told officers that he’d just received a dose of methadone at a Lynnwood clinic and had used cocaine a few days earlier, according to court papers.

I have so many questions. I mean, it’s a pretty normal robbery story until that third paragraph. Why did the woman have a duck? What kind of duck? Was it okay after she dropped it? Did the robber even have an iPod? Also, what?

Seattle man charged in bizarre duck case [Sky Valley Journal]