Have you noticed that the Mariners, after opening the season here, have effectively fallen off the face of the Seattle sports planet? They were supposed to play a four-game series in Cleveland this past weekend against the First Nations Whom We Took Away Their Land And Gave Them Smallpox And Now They Take Away Our Gambling Money And Give Us Kenny Rogers Three Shows A Night.

None of the games were played. OK, they played half the Friday game before M’s manager Mike Hargrove though it was a good idea to stall the game and force a cancellation.

Now, in situations like this in the past when a team comes back to town they’ll make up the games, whether by playing on off-days or playing doubleheaders. One little problem, though — the Mariners won’t go back to Cleveland again this year. So these four games may have to be made up on scheduled off-days, just like kids make up snow days by losing breaks and holidays. In one scenario, the M’s could have to fly to Cleveland between series at Safeco just to get a game in. There’s even the possibility that some of the games may not be made up unless they matter for Cleveland in the standings.

What a mess. What an icy, sticky sloppy mess. And if MLB had been thinking straight, they could have played all three games in Seattle, where we spent half a billion dollars on this thing called a retractable roof. But you know the old saying about sporting leagues: “Why think rationally when there’s a buck to be made?” (Note: I just made up that quote.)

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