Today on McSweeney’s, Kate Kershner’s hilarious take on what a Spokane version of Gawker Stalker would look like:

5:26 p.m. Downtown, near the WaMu. That Channel 8 news anchor. What’s his name? Ned something. My husband told me that Bruce Allen told him that the Channel 8 guy was sleeping with a 17-year-old. And I bet it’s true, because have you seen his wife lately? Because I haven’t, if you know what I mean. I mean, I think she left him because he’s sleeping with a 17-year-old. Ned Chancellor! That’s his name. He got that gastric-bypass surgery in Mexico, you know, even though he was only a little heavy. I can’t remember who told me that. But they knew it for sure, whoever it was. Speaking of surgery … [mcsweeneys]

Many thanks to Ellen for the tip. Someday soon, Seattle will have its own celebrity tracking system. For now, feel free to share your favorite celeb sighting in the comments.

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