Needles…in….space!
It’s a good thing we have the Weekly World News to keep us updated on what the news won’t tell us (clipped in its entirety, because it’s just too damned good):
SEATTLE, Wash.–The Space Needle will once again become this city’s tallest building in April 2009, when NASA launches the tower into Earth orbit. The unmanned mission will test the landmark’s suitability for carrying astronauts to the moon, Mars, and beyond.
“We hope this flight will point us in the direction of cheaper modes of space travel,” said Project Director Mike Dale.
Early next year, NASA engineers will remove the 72 bolts anchoring the Needle to her 6,000-ton concrete foundation. Construction cranes will lower the building onto its side, and a convoy of trucks will transport the structure to Cape Canaveral, using the straightest roads possible.
“There, the building will be thoroughly caulked against the vaccuum of space,” Mr. Dale said.
The Needle’s elevator shaft will be filled with rocket fuel, her antennas will be oriented toward Houston, and her manned explorations of the solar system will begin no later than 2014, according to Dale.
Despite the reduced costs to NASA, the Space Needle project represents a giant leap in astronaut amenities.
“The rotating restaurant will provide simulated Earth gravity, not to mention fresh salmon and Dungeness crab from Washington and Alaska waters,” Dale said.
“It was NASA spacecraft that originally inspired the tower’s architecture,” Dale reflected from his seat in the Needle’s whirling restaurant. “But now the tables are turning.”[WWN]
You would think this sort of thing would be on the front page of something or another, but even the Space Needle itself is keeping it a secret. Who should we blame this on? The mayor? Paul Allen? Which elevator shaft will be filled with rocket fuel?
More importantly, who would we like to stuff into the Needle and send into space?
We should clearly all be thankful for the Weekly World News, the only source for news on Bat Boy and people who marry their computers.
Via Seattle lj.
Blame it on Bill Gates like we do for everything else.
I prefer to blame Paul Allen for everything.
This is my favorite part: “The rotating restaurant will provide simulated Earth gravity, not to mention fresh salmon and Dungeness crab from Washington and Alaska waters,” Dale said.
My favorite part: “There, the building will be thoroughly caulked against the vaccuum of space,” Mr. Dale said.”
I painted houses one summer and caulk can barely hold water out of a house… too funny.
MY favorite part is that they’re going to take it to Cape Canaveral using the straightests roads possible.