Haters, scroll past. The rest can click to see a recap of last night’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy, featuring shaky fathers, invincible daughters, an awkward threesome, and so much more.

Per usual, Meredith’s disembodied voice tells us what to expect from this episode while we watch the camera swirling around her, in bed, wrapped only in strategically-placed sheets: “Surgeons usually fantasize about wild and improbable surgeries: someone collapses in a restaurant, we splice them open with a butter knife, replace a valve with a hollowed-out stick of carrot. But every now and then some other kind of fantasy slips in.”

On this subject of slipping it in, suddenly she’s in bed with Dempsey … and, wait for it … Chris O’Donnell. None of them got any sleep and they sure don’t want to get any [sleep] now. As the boys lean in for a threeway kiss (payback for last season’s girl on girl on girl shower scene) Meredith has a rude awakening, sitting up in her bed alone in her usual Dartmouth sweatshirt. Yep. It was all a dream: “Most of our fantasies dissolve when we wake, banished to the back of our mind. But sometimes we’re sure … if we try hard enough, we can live the dream.”

The commotion is coming from outside the bedroom, where George is tripping over all of Callie’s boxes. Somehow the woman who camped out in a hospital basement for god only knows how long has worldly possessions sufficient to clutter a hallway. George quietly begs Meredith to kick his girlfriend out of the house. She’s been there a week, is using all the hot water, and is still doing the thing where she drops her towel and struts around naked. Good old Crazy Naked Torres is back! During all of this Izzie casually mentions that she’d like a ride to hospital to talk to the Chief to see about coming back.

At her hotel lovenest, Addison is trying to give McSteamy (I hate this nickname, but I really can’t remember if this dude has a real name.) the heave-ho. He offers to change his flight to keep their hookup relationship alive. Now that she’s sober, she’s ready for him to go home so that she can go to work. “So long, and thanks for all the sex.”

At the Burkeatorium, the man of the house is crashed out on the couch, bouncing a ball against the wall. Sandra Oh shows up and hassles him for not practicing with his bad hand. He responds by using a coffee cup as his target to show that he still has good aim, telling her to leave the mess on the floor.

Walking into “Seattle Grace”, Torres makes a plea for a key to the house, but George shuts her down with some weaseley excuse about liking going home together. Isabel freezes a dozen yards from the door. Despite her pals’ encouragement, she says that she’ll need a minute to stare at the building before going inside.

Up in the Chief’s office, Bailey is prepping him for Izzie’s arrival. He’s not keen on it, but she puts him in his place, demanding that he fill his heart with compassion and talk to her all the while remembering all of the other people whose lapses in judgement killed someone, not to mention his own mistakes. He reluctantly agrees when he sees how important it is to the Softie (nee Nazi), saying that being the boss isn’t as much fun as it used to be. Particularly when your subordinates boss you around all the time.

Sandra Oh meets up with the gang to complain about Presto’s laziness, but she’s quickly cut off when Patrick Dempsey arrives with a pair of lattes from Tully’s. Maybe they picked up a corporate sponsor this year? One of them is for Grey, who obliquely mentions her dream. He’s there to ask her out to dinner over a casual cup of coffee. She accepts. Guess who else is there? None other than Chris O’Donnell. With coffee cake. Maybe the boys are coordinating their efforts? Oh smirks when Grey mentions her dream a second time. He asks her dinner, but agrees to settle for hospital food for lunch. Once Meredith’s social calendar for the day has been arranged, Oh compliments her on the racy dream: “just when i think you’re boring, you rise.” For her part, Meredith is pretty pleased, dropping one of the episode’s best lines: “I’m dating. It comes with snacks.”

One the way into assignment time, Alex says hello to Izzie. George gets a special request to spend the day with Callie. At this point, they have completely given up on the idea of avoiding inappropriate teacher-students relationships? It’s worked out so well for Our Heroine, and Sandra Oh. Why not George, too? Like George, Alex is less than pleased with being sent back to OB/GYN with Addison. A call from McSteambath quickly gets him off the hook; so he joyously leaps off to the pit.

There, he finds a bruised and bloody little curly-haired girl. Her (foster) parents weirdly assure Alex that they aren’t beating their kid and back it up with a thick file folder full of records to prove that she has a history of playing rough. Alex gets rid of the parents to take a closer look at his patient, who assures him that they’re the best parents she’s ever had and aren’t responsible. Not only that, she’s a superhero that can’t be hurt. As proof, she shows to let him punch her in the stomach and shows off a nasty cut in her arm that she stapled herself. Before Alex can remove them she plucks them out one at at time, pulling the last one out with her teeth and spitting it into a pan.

– main title –

The next case o’ the episode belongs to Dempsey, with backup from Sandra Oh. The patient is a guy who’s having his corpus callosum removed as a way to prevent seizures. His wife explains it to their baby as “Daddy’s having them cut his brain in half because he’s a big dummy.” His wife is nervous about the procedure, but he defends his decision by pointing out that it’s not safe to leave him alone with the baby. She nods to quietly agree to go ahead with the surgery. Later, he’s holding the baby. Guess what happens? He’s about to have a seizure, but no one notices because Sandra Oh is too busy complaining to the wife about the hellish recovery period. At the last second, she dives in for the save.

George meets up with his crazy girlfriend/boss/teacher/housemate, mildly annoyed at having to spend even more time with her. He explains his morning weirdness by saying that he’s not a bright light sort of guy. But she assures him that he’s going to see a radical case. The patient has big plans for a rocking workout/triathalon planned (2.4 mile swim, 112 miles on the bike, then a marathon by 12 June). Callie enthusiastically agrees that he’ll be ready after she provides an ankle transplant [!] from a cadaver. The Ironman asks if gets to meet “his guy”. George notes that he had three surgeries in the past year and looks dubious about the whole affair.

Alex has called social services to check in on Little Miss Superhero’s parents and their history and a psych consult for the kid. At Bailey’s request administers a cold pressor test to see if she can really feel no pain. He plays along, and they both put our hands in a tub of ice water as a test of her superpowers. She promises that it won’t start to hurt and follows through by soundly beating her doctor in the endurance challenge. She explains her bruising by telling him none of the kids at school believe in her superpowers; so she lets them beat her with baseball bats to prove a point. She must be really fun at parties.

Addison meets McSteamy at Joe’s bar. He claims to have been delayed by the weather. But Addison’s not so drunk anymore, noting that it’s one of two cloudless days in Seattle (actually it’s more like 139^{[<a href="http://www.komotv.com/weather/faq/seattle_rain.asp">komo</a>]}). She refuses to drink, but he orders her a coffee.

–commercials–

When we get back, Dempsey assures Daddy Babydropper that his recent episode shouldn’t interfere with the scheduled surgery. They’re up for it, but he reminds them that it won’t be a walk in the park.

For her part, Izzie is still maintaining her trancelike guard outside. Sandra Oh and Meredith breeze by, updating her on the story so far: Grey’s dating everyone with a pulse and Oh is trying to get Burke out of the Bell Jar.

Still at the bar (but not drinking!), Addison continues to try to rid herself of the McSteamy problem. She says that they both really enjoyed the healthy release of a trans-continental booty call; he strokes her hair. She wants him to go home; he wants her to come with him. She insists that she’s not coming back to New York because it was just about the sex. She exits, saying goodbye again, but the look on his face lets us know that he’s probably not on his way to Sea-Tac anytime soon.

The Chief wonders if Izzie’s going to drop by and Bailey promises that she’ll eventually track him down.

Even though Bailey thinks it’s O.K. that L.M.S. thinks she’s a superhero, but Alex orders a CT to check out the bruises just in case.

Walking and talking, George asks Callie why Ironman gets so many surgeries and suggests that maybe he needs to cut back on the marathons. Torrez likes playing fairy godmother, saying that sometimes they can make dreams come true.

Grumpy George heads off to lunch, where he finds a pile of money between Sandra Oh and Alex. They’ve bet on whether Dempsey will break-up Grey’s lame cafeteria lunch with Chris O’Donnell. While they’re waiting, George provides a nerdy thesis on the psychological profile of the superhero in modern comic book representation. For a moment, it looks like our favoritest brain surgeon is going to take the high road, but he turns back to interrupt their tuna salad sandwiches to call Meredith into surgery. She apologizes, saying that she’s an intern with a lot to learn. McSmarmy reminds her date that she’s busy tonight, too. With that, Sandra Oh scoops up the pile of bills.

Burke enter the hospital grounds, wearing a very sporty sling. He pauses to play statues with Izzie. Neither knows if they’re coming or going.

– commercials –

Meredith points out Dempsey’s error, saying that now she owes O’Donnell another date. This doesn’t phase him, because he’s sure that Chris is out of his league. He leaves Grey to prep the patient. He tricked her into cutting lunch short as the surgery’s actually hours away, saying that she needs to work a little, too.

Thank goodness for glass walls, because they let Sandra Oh quietly sneak a peek at her boyfriend having a serious conversation with the Chief.

Alex feeds Little Miss Superhero into a big machine. She doesn’t want a scan, just a punch in the stomach. Does this line ever get old? In the half of the room with the computers, Addison arrives and Bailey promises never to speak of the evening of Drunky McSweatpants Spilling Her Guts in Joe’s Bar. Alex steps in and she returns to work talk, mentioning that chronic insensitivity to pain is usually diagnosed young. But holy hell, what the heck is that on the scan?

George catches Presto on his way out, being all friendly, asking about his arm, and telling him that he’s missed. Burke points out that Isabel is still standing out there looking like a zombie.

In surgery, Dempsey is flanked by Grey and Sandra Oh. While they’re plucking the seizure junk out of the patient’s brain, he mentions that Burke was meeting with the chief to arrange his leave of absence. And then there was one Chief Wannabe.

George goes back outside to check on Izzie, who claims to have moved to a new spot. She mumbles about how much she hates the bride thing. He tugs at her elbow to bring her inside [what's the rush? it is a sunny day in fake Seattle, why not soak it up for a few more hours?], but she insists that she has to stop thinking of her wedding dress before she stands before the Chief. Unmarried widowhood must really suck.

George’s next agenda item is getting the Ironman to sign the consent forms. When the patient doesn’t seem to be taking the risks seriously, boasting about an upcoming fall hip replacement, he offers to show him the cadaver from which they’re extracting the replacement ankle.

While the doctors apologize to L.M.S.’s parents for accusing them of child abuse, explain that their foster kid is bleeding internally, probably has a chromosomal abnormality that prevents her from feeling pain, will need close monitoring, and is in need of immediate surgery, the girl disappears. A new superpower? No, just a reason to end the episode with a madcap caper.

Oh catches Burke on his way out of the hospital to hassle him about his leave of absence? He says that he’ll be on leave as long as it takes. He reminds her that recovery is measured in months or years, and that some patients don’t recover. She lays on the tough love, saying that he’s not one of those lower non-recoverers.

– commercials —

Down in the morgue, Ironman finally gets to meet some corpses. The first is a guy who died from liposuction. See — people shouldn’t get unnecessary surgeries! George is subtle like that. Next he shows him “his guy”, the dead ankle donor. Ironman thinks that the dead guy is way too old, with brittle old person bones unsuitable for his vigorous lifestyle. Surprise — the stiff is <I>two years younger</i> than he is. Checkmate. A few minutes later, at the Big Board of Surgeries, Callie freaks out when she sees that her ankle allograft was cancelled. Before she can interrogate George, he’s saved by the Bailey and her call for all hands to hunt down the missing supergirl.

During his part of the kidhunt, George won’t shut up about comics, filling Alex in on his theories about heroism without superpowers, and oddly likening Callie to Robin invading Bruce Wayne’s turf. She catches up to them, angry that he busted up her surgery. George projects his frustration, saying that not everything needs to go at warp speed and confessing that he’s not ready to move in together. She says that maybe he should have said something the the first four times that she asked and that she’ll be out of the house in an hour. Lucky for her, the cancelled surgery will give her plenty of time to pack.

While Dempsey and Grey are arranging their date, Addison is avoiding them. Later, while Meredith is playing “seek” to the Superhero’s “hide”; she runs into a crying Addison in the supply closet. Addison suggests that they each pick a floor and stay on it, saying that Grey is everywhere and she needs a moment or two without seeing her face or thinking about her panties in a certain husband’s tuxedo pocket.

Alex eventually finds Little Miss Superhero hiding in a little fort constructed from a sheet draped gurney. She calls him a hosebag and says that no one’s cutting her open. She’s worried her parents will send her back because they can’t afford the surgery. Alex, having picked something up from George’s lectures, says that there’s no way they’d give up a superhero for a daughter even if she doesn’t have powers. After all, he reminds her that Green Lantern is still a hero even without the ring.

Babydroper appears to have made it through surgery with flying colors. But it’s not all it seems. He’s unable to remember the name of a standardized test and when Dempsey asks him to identify the pink cup on his tray, he can’t recall the word. It gets even more awkward when he can’t produce the names of his wife or son. His wife gets freaked out and demands that he say his name. She and Sandra Oh should really form a club for unsupportive significant others.

– commercials —

Outside the room, the panicked wife wants to know how it’s possible to not know the name of a baby named after your father. Patrick Dempsey tells her that he knows who the baby is, it’s just that the emotional side of the brain needs to re-connect with the vocabulary side. He needs to make new pathways. It’s a long learning process and she’ll need to be patient as he can’t do this without her support. Luckily, Sandra Oh is standing by to take notes because this speech is actually intended for her.

Although it only lasted for thirty seconds of screen time (more on the generally positive trend of letting the show be a soap opera instead of a medical mystery drama), Little Miss Superhero’s surgery apparently went well. We find her in recovery, with her doting parents standing by. Outside, Bailey talks to Alex about how everybody wants a life without pain, saying that pain’s there for a reason. She finally catches a glimpse of Izzie still standing guard outside the hospital and asks if she’s been out there all day.

A shot of pretty night Seattle skyline complete with glowing Washington State Ferry approaching the terminal brings us to the aftermath of McDempsey and Grey’s date. She asks if he’s coming in? While they’re sorting that out, Chris O’Donnell arrives bearing freshly made strawberry ice cream (he remembers that it’s her favorite flavor). He and Dempsey quibble over date crashing etiquitte. This goes on for a while until Meredith reminds them that no one’s feeling her up. Further, no one’s even looking at her — she’s an intern and it’s not easy to look so hot. She’s (TMI?) waxed, plucked, and wearing a clean top and her fantasy isn’t two men looking at each other. They’re supposed to be looking at her, wonderful her. No more talking until one of them can figure out how to put on a date: she wants heat, she wants romance, and damnit, she wants to feel like a lady; so she leaves the boys outside, returning only to retrieve the ice cream.

While they stand outside, looking befuddled with the proposition of making a lady out of Meredith, the voiceover brings us out: “The fantasy is simple. Pleasure is good. And twice as much pleaseure is better. That pain is bad. And no pain is better.”

At the hotel lobby, Addison requests that they hold her calls. It turns out to be ground zero for displaced doctors. Callie’s checking in, the Chief is checking his messages, and McSteamy is requesting a room withing stalking distance of Addison. They should totally have a slumber party! When the Chief asks him what he’s doing in Seattle, he doesn’t have a good answer and goes with the all-popular love of “ferry boats” excuse.

“But the reality is different.”

Back at the Burkeatorium, Sandra Oh arrives with groceries. Don’t worry, she’s not going to cook for him. While telling him that he’s not allowed to sit on his ass all day, she lines up a row of raw chickens on the counter. Grabbing a cleaver, she chops one in half and tosses a suture kit to Burke, telling him to put it back together.

“The reality is that pain is there to tell us something.”

Alex leaves the hospital and gives Izzie a coat. She says that she’ll do it. She knows that she can. He asks if it hurts. She says it does. Everywhere. He says that maybe it hurts for a reason, and they walk home together.

“And there’s only so much pleasure we can take without getting a stomach ache. And maybe that’s o.k.”

In bed, Grey attacks the ice cream. Isabel arrives, saying that she didn’t go in today. Meredith says it’s O.K., maybe tomorrow? George is the next to enter and tries to be more relieved about Callie’s exit than he actually is. He hops on the bed and joins the girls, covering the spoon with his icky boy spit.

And that’s a wrap, with an entirely different threesome occupying Meredith bed and her voiceover reminding us that “maybe some fantasies are only supposed to live in our dreams.”

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