Isn’t it great to have local newspaper columnists to perpetuate tired local stereotypes as a thin excuse for letting readers that they’ve not only hooked up with someone from across the country but also convinced this interstate lover to move to town?

Q: Does it really rain from Oct. 1 to July 12?
A: Absolutely not. I remember a winter back in the day — “Melrose Place” was on the tube at the time — when the sun came out on Dec. 12. People stopped at midspan on the Evergreen Point Floating Bridge, dropped to their knees, and began worshipping it. I put on a Hawaiian shirt, pulled out a Jimmy Buffett cassette and made it to the second song before the sun set at its usual time — 2:45 p.m. [times]

Spoiler: next week’s column? Many people in Seattle drink coffee.