THIS IS THE METBLOGS ALERT SYSTEM. . . .

METBLOGS IS ISSUING A **CULTURE WAR WARNING** FOR THE FOLLOWING AREAS:

WASHINGTON
– WHOLE DANG STATE

UNTIL 2259 PDT FRIDAY JULY 28.

AT 2200 PDT THE METBLOGS ALERT SCANNERS DETECTED A SUPREME COURT RULING IN THE STATE GAY MARRIAGE CASE WILL BE ISSUED TOMORROW.

STATE SUPREME COURT RULINGS OFTEN BRING STRONG PONTIFICATING, SEVERE BLOVIATION, AND LARGE-SCALE POLITICAL GRANDSTANDING. SEEK SHELTER IN INTERIOR ROOMS AWAY FROM TALK RADIO. DO NOT DRIVE INTO STANDING ARGUMENTS AS THEY ARE OFTEN SHALLOWER THAN THEY APPEAR. KEEP YOUR EMERGENCY CULTURE WAR PREPAREDNESS KIT AT THE READY, WHICH SHOULD INCLUDE A GOOD, LONG BOOK (SUCH AS THE BIBLE, WAR AND PEACE, OR CRYPTONOMICON) AND HIGH QUALITY EARPLUGS. . . .

CONCURRENT WITH THIS ALERT THE CULTURE WAR THREAT SYSTEM BASED ON KIDS TELEVISION CHARACTERS IS RAISED FROM MELANIE TO BERT AND ERNIE. . . .

STAY TUNED TO METBLOGS FOR FURTHER INFORMATION AND IDEAS ON WHERE TO GO TO GET AS FAR AWAY FROM THE SCREAMING AS POSSIBLE. . . .

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