Are The Coffee Wars Upon Us?

I consider myself to be quite a coffee snob and this sort of worries me.

The price of another kind of sweet, life-nurturing crude is set to spike: thanks to a bad year in Brazil and growing consumer demand in Eastern Europe and Asia, there may not be enough coffee to meet demand over the next two years. Prices will be going up. A global coffee crisis may well be imminent.

As a Seattle resident, I’m pretty sure a threat to the nation’s coffee supply is actionable under the War on Terror. Unlike gasoline, it’s not like there are any viable alternatives to coffee. Sure, tea has it’s place but do you really want a Lipton Latte in the morning?

So here’s a serious question for our politicians: what country do we have to invade to secure caffeine independence from South America’s bean-counting tyrants? Sign me up! I’ll march on Juan Valdez if needed to get my morning cup of bean-squeezins.


Click to know more about The Coffee Wars!!

2 Comments so far

  1. Aradia (unregistered) on May 2nd, 2006 @ 6:51 am

    I am extremely alarmed at this report! I will have to see if there are any covert coffee-growing operations going on in the area…lack of coffee will surely mean war.


  2. eldan (unregistered) on May 2nd, 2006 @ 11:36 am

    Clearly we need to open up Alaska to coffee-growing, before the US economy grinds to a halt as workers fall asleep at their desks.



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