I’m guessing that many of you are newbies to NFL football, or at least caring about one of the teams in the game. I mean, most years I TiVo the game just to see the commercials because the game is terrible.

So, to bide your time while you’re waiting for the latest beer commerical with the skimpy model doing something that is hi-larious with some horse or something… here’s a little drinking game for you.

METBLOGS DISCLAIMER: PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY. AND THAT INCLUDES NON-ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES, TOO. I MEAN, DO YOU WANT TO GO ON SO MANY PEE BREAKS THAT PEOPLE THINK YOU HAVE PROSTATE CANCER AND WHEN THE GAME GETS REALLY BORING IN THE THIRD QUARTER ONE OF YOUR PARTY MEMBERS PUTS ON A RUBBER GLOVE AND TELLS YOU IT MAY HURT?

THE GAME
Drink:

• Whenever Jerome Bettis’ hometown is mentioned
• Whenever Joey Porter and Jerramy Stevens are mentioned in the same sentence
• Upon the mention of “mustache,” “latte,” “steel,” “red zone,” or “rain” by the commentators
• The first time one of your party members asks, “What’s that yellow line?”
• Every time Shaun Alexander’s contract status is mentioned
• Whenever Lofa Tatupu and Troy Polamalu’s nationality (Samoan) and college (USC) are mentioned
• For every ABC TV sitcom promotion or commercial

Down the whole bottle:

• The first time and every time they state the fact the Seahawks can legally tackle Troy Polamalu by the hair
• Every time a member of the Rolling Stones exposes his nipple
• The first and every time a member of the party says, “That commercial sucked.”
• Whenever they mention that “Grey’s Anatomy: Code Black” is on right after the game

Down the whole frikkin’ six-pack if the Seahawks actually win this thing. The Seahawks winning the Super Bore is the surest sign of the End Times there is.

Happy Drinking!