I don’t know about you guys, but I plan to do my grandma proud on Thursday and cook enough food to feed twice as many guests as I actually have. My mother–who no longer celebrates Thanksgiving, and tends to go out for burgers now–finds the thought of a feast in my one-bedroom apartment hysterically funny. To this end, she’s been sending me “humorous” Thanksgiving-related emails, most of which I disregard because they’re really not that funny. (Sorry, mom!)

This morning, though, she sent me a link to “Seattle Thanksgiving Day”, asking, “Is this what it’s like?” In most ways, this thing is as usual disregardable and slightly annoying, but there were a few spots that hit home:

DRESS CODE. Thanksgiving Day guests will arrive wearing Seattle tuxes: clean jeans, turtleneck sweaters and down jackets with weathered ski-lift tags. Hiking boots are optional.

CONVERSATION’S GAMBIT. Topics will include: 1) the election; 2) previous elections; and, 3) the next election. Several arguments will ensue before the host or hostess declares politics ‘off-limits.’

DEPARTURE’S RULE. Some guests will arrive very early; some will show up late. But they’ll all leave at the same time.

And now, on Thursday, when my guests kick off their sensible shoes and start talking monorail, this goofy email is all I’m going to be able to think about.