No, seriously. When we went to the store to get some, all the cowbells had been sold out. And now I’m very, very deaf.

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Apparently, the Everett Silvertips are doing extremely well. I say “apparently” because I have no particular interest in learning the game of hockey. I just find it fun to go there and scream. It’s great for relieving stress, and killing your eardrums. But right now, I’m given to understand that we are (or they are) number one in their division, and tonight we scored another win (5 to 1) in an amazing game.

OK, I don’t get out that much, but it seems like they played really well compared to the other two times I’ve seen them. Golly, they scored two of those goals in the first third, and the fifth goal came in the last sixty seconds, when the Tri-City Americans, desperate to get something, had taken their goalie out in order to add another player to the team. So it was six of them against four of our players (one was in penalty), and one guy thwacked the puck FROM ACROSS THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ARENA into their empty net. The entire arena stood up and cheered, as well they might: an anonymous guy had failed to win a car because he couldn’t do just that.

And of course, there was the Fight, which lasted a good minute, and our guy totally jumped up and down on the other guy’s face. But don’t worry — the Americans deserved it for spending the entire game slamming our guys into the walls and tripping them up. Wait, what do you mean, “that’s the whole point of the game”??