Give us your Xboxes. Lately, there has been a craze…an Xbox craze. You’d think that since the ‘evil empire’ as it is lovingly called is stationed around here Seattleites could possibly benefit from a plethora of Xboxes…Alas, I looked in several places and got the ‘No Xboxes, sorry’ spiel about a dozen times. I felt like I was trying to buy a Wonka bar.

(Anyone know a hidden location or a dark alley that I can obtain an Xbox?)

If anyone has ever seen Singles, or wished they could live in the underbelly of the Seattle rock scene they should visit a not often mentioned industrial area of Seattle…Georgetown.

So last night we headed out around 10 or so because…’there is a party, we just don’t know where…’ Sound familiar? It was like right out of 200 Cigarettes. So eventually we get down there, find the warehouse and walk in and it was as if time had stopped in Seattle. Rockers dressed in their finest studs, chicks with mohawks, punk rock blaring from the adjoining stage. Open bar. I think it was some girls’ birthday, but I’m not sure (Happy birthday whoever you are…Lindsey perhaps?) Tons of fun, and did I mention it was open bar?

Afterhours, we thought about going to Beth’s…but we didn’t. We thought about going to the Hurricane…but we didn’t. We drove past some other place but it was so busy it wasn’t worth it. So we headed over to the Mecca in Queen Anne. Not bad. They actually give you a pound of french fries…Beware the bacon though, super salty, but heh, after an…open bar…everything tastes pretty damned good.

The Pirouette Cafe opened its doors last month in downtown Bellevue. My friend, the SBW (short blonde whirlwind), called me up this morning and insisted we try it. Because I fold easily under peer pressure, I agreed.

The cafe is located in a building that’s in one of those small lanes off the Main Street part of town, where everyone wants to pretend they are funky and individual. If you’re familiar with Bellevue it’s where the Whiffletree used to be. I stay far away from the area whenever possible. The food’s never as good as I hope it’s going to be, and it’s usually overpriced.

Pirouette is no exception. SBW pronounced her meatball minestrone to be good, and the caprese salad to be “ok” (it looked pretty good by the way but I don’t think she’s had one before. I’ve never seen one with a flatbread and on a bed of lettuce, but you get to expect that every chef has their own special way to mess around with a dish). When she got her bill, her eyes bugged out. A small cup of soup ran $5.99, and the salad cost her $8.99. She confessed she hadn’t read the board very clearly, and had thought the $8.99 was for both. No way, lady — you’re in my town now.

On the other hand, I was deeply disappointed, and prepared to be. I had dubiously ordered a “morning or afternoon tea” — an item on the menu which supposedly came with tea, butter, jam, fresh fruit, and either the cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches, or the egg salad sandwiches. What’s missing? You’re right: no scones.

Sure enough, when my dish came out, there was no scone. On the side appeared a plated of sliced french bread that tasted like it came from the QFC up the street, and butter and jam. I got one large bitesized piece of canteloupe, and a handful of grapes. I have a small hand. My egg salad sandwich was quite flat, very bland, and toasted. I ground my teeth and tried not to remember the giant egg salad sandwich I had stuffed my face with, at the Main Street Bagel Deli a couple of months earlier. Hadn’t that one cost about $10 too? OK relax, lady, and sip your tea.

The owner came out and chatted with us for a while. That must be the nicest thing about a new restaurant — people are always interested to know what they are doing right and wrong. John obviously hasn’t heard of Seattle Freeze, and he was perfectly amiable and obviously excited about his new venture. I couldn’t make myself tell him that everything was overpriced for what I was getting — besides, here I was in the middle of “Old Bellevue” so what right do I have to tell him to price it like he’s working out of the Crossroads Mall? Instead I stuck to the basics: if you use the term “afternoon tea” be prepared to field a lot of “WHERE’S THE DAMN SCONE” questions, and what the hell is up with the egg salad, anyway? John explained which market they were catering to (retirees). Oh. Well, in that case, you better keep it all bland.

As a final step, we ordered a few desserts to try out. Our waitress Jubilee brought out the tier trays of dessert. They were from a local organic bakery, and were tiny. All were priced at $1.75. SBW was ecstatic. Like all women I know, she’s constantly watching her weight and moaning about how any time you go out to a restaurant, they serve up a giant dessert when all she wants is two bites of something. Well, she, and probably every single woman heading into that cafe has gotten their wish. Tiny little extravagant desserts which are really very tasty (although still just a tad expensive for my taste) and if they’re organic, that means they are good for you, right? Right?

So, I really want to like Pirouette. I like the name. I like the waitress’s name. I like the people who run it. I like the space — it’s light and airy. I need a place where I can go and drink tea and eat something very small and sweet. I just can’t order any of the meals, is all. There’s nothing wrong with what I ate — it’s just that it tastes exactly like I made them. That ain’t right. And I really, really, hope that changes in April, when they finally get their kitchen built, and the crepe machine comes in. Imagine. Crepes, and no having to drive over to 611 Supreme? That’s like a dream come true. I might even pay extra for that.

Oh, and John’s handy hint about my bland egg salad — tell your waitress you want the chef to jazz it up a bit. Maybe next time I’ll tell them to pile up the egg salad a bit more, too. And nix the dubious-looking fruit and give me a scone instead.

Thurston County’s Coroner’s Office recently won approval to purchase a machine that currently does not exist. When they get someone to build it, it’s going to be able to shrinkwrap human remains.

I already have quite a problem getting shrinkwrap off everything I buy, so I hope they get a giant CD opener with that.

But seriously folks, if you wanted the shrinkwrap for sealing in the biohazards, maybe we should talk about getting some Glad Press ‘n Seal instead? (I’m such a sucker for ads.) No, I really mean it. You can get giant rolls of gladwrap already, cus that’s what they wrapped all my furniture in when I moved here. So all you need are a bunch of teamsters and we’re all set.

PS To Thurston County — if you like my idea, you can mail me that $50,000 you were planning to spend on a new machine.

While we happily post away about the day-to-day minutia of the Pacific Northwest, something generally similar is happening all over the world. That is, please welcome the newest member of the metblogs family by checking out new Pakastani sibling Metroblogging Karachi.

In what might be considered an embrace of the urban archipelago concept, Seattle Mayor Greg “still unopposed” Nickels starts thinking lofty. In the face of a federal government that doesn’t believe in the Kyoto Protocol (or, for that matter climate change global warming), Nickels is planning to propose coalition to save the planet one city at a time. For the launch party, the mayor brought in heavy hitters to frame the problem:

[Earth Day founder Denis] Hayes described the effects of global warming that are already being seen in Europe. He described small indicators such as bees that no longer hibernate and a 2003 heat wave that killed thousands in Europe. . . . Some see evidence of global warming in the Pacific Northwest where the snowpack provides water, hydroelectricity and irrigation. According to reports, the Cascade snowpack is down 50 percent since 1950. [seattle p-i]

Sure. Europeans see the benefit of cleaning up the planet based after a winter of active bees and a summer of dead elderly. We don’t get the point until it messes up our ski and snowboarding plans.

PETA is holding a contest to find the sexiest living vegetarian. Lo and behold, Seattle’s very own Jake Hjorten is one of the finalists for the title of “sultry soy boy”

Jake refuses to eat flesh because he doesn

Typically, the affairs of the city council fall under our radar. We’re modestly recent transplants and learning about the inner workings of municipal governments was low on the priority list. TDO & poster ban = bad, monorail = good, has been the extent of our Kool Aid sipping.

But it might be time for that cavalier attitude to change. KING5 reports on a move to ban cab drivers from talking on the phone while transporting passengers:

The full council votes Tuesday on the ordinance that was requested by Mayor Greg Nickels in response to complaints about safety and rudeness.
[king5, reg. or bugmenot req.]

Even though I prefer to let the driver chat with friends so that I don’t need to fabricate small talk, this was not my cause for concern. The part of the legislation that has me ready to stage a protest is the section about raising fares. Aren’t they high enough?

Perhaps this a secret plot to promote physical activity among cheapskates?

Every week, we try to let you know what greatness to expect from the free weeklies. For the Seattle Weekly, it’s usually a no-brainer: the latest installment of This Modern World. Sure, we could read it online to get our money’s worth from our Salon subscription, but there’s something good about reading at least one comic on newsprint.

This week’s installation of the Stranger is a surprisingly easy pick. Don’t miss the “letters” section — three rants from angry Comic Book Guys, one from a self-avowed sexy librarian, and another from an STD-hating Jesus lover. Pure effing brilliance! This is not to say that there aren’t other worthwhile elements — along with the usual suspects the cover, a portrait of M.J. in breakfast cereal, is a thing of rare beauty. [Ed: no pic this week? -- I thought that was getting old, didn't you?]

The most shocking piece of news is that neither paper gave an all out pan to Constantine, the movie with the ubiquitous trailer that’s been distressing us for the last few months. (You know that feeling, when you’re seeing a film and the parade of awful previews causes you to quesion your judgement because if the ad wizards think that you might be into something like that, then maybe you really underestimated the actual movie that you’re about to see? For us, that was Constantine. That is, until we realized that it has the biggest ad budget in history.)

Less shocking is that none of the I SAW U’s are about us.

Josh’s post earlier this week was the icing on my cake, tying several things together in my mind. After living here several years, I had become accustomed to the fact that people here were a little bit… reserved. However, this is the first time it’s occurred to me to apply this tidbit of information to more than just socializing. In fact, I’ve finally tied it to goods and services: SHOPPING.

Take this quote from the same article Josh quoted from:

When she arrived from Orange County, potential-friend types would say, “Hey, let’s do something sometime.” And she thought they meant it. She’d try to actually set something up. “People would seem shocked; I was seen as aggressive for asking people to do a specific thing at a specific time.”

Well, this would explain why those people at Lamps Plus never called me back. Here I was thinking “Free In-Home Consultation” meant that they were going to COME OVER TO MY HOUSE and TRY TO SELL ME A LAMP. Instead what it actually meant was that someday, if they maybe felt like taking my money from me and allowing me to take a lamp from their store, they would give me a call.

And no wonder my lawnmowing guy never showed up. I thought that by agreeing to pay him the over-inflated sum of $60 per mow, I had virtually guaranteed that he would show up as often as possible. Instead, the lawn was regularly hip deep in grass during that summer.

While I’m learning to communicate with the local merchants, is it any wonder that more of us every year are turning to the internet for our shopping needs? Take my recent purchase at Seattle Lighting as an example.

1) I went to a local light store, so I could see the product in person. Never happened, because they don’t carry every single thing in the whole wide world, so I had to special order it.

2) At least, by ordering it at a store close by, I’d be able to return it easily if it didn’t suit. Except they don’t refund special-order stock.

3) There’s nothing like a local store for that special customer service. They’re UPSing it, so at least I know it’ll get here in the 7 to 10 business days promised. Only, it never did, and when I called them up on Friday afternoon, they didn’t have the tracking number. Why not? Because the factory has it. Well, call the factory. They’re on the east coast and they’re closed. I see. So you sold me something, and promised it would get here on Thursday and now you don’t know where it is? Was it too much for me to expect to be able to do a specific thing at a specific time?

At least I got to pay the government their sales tax.