Seattle Rules of the Road
- Make absolutely certain that you are going 10 MPH below the highway limit as you enter the highway.
- Drive an SUV, even if you have absolutely no use for it.
- Always have deep conversations on your cell phone in the fast lane.
- Is it raining? Tailgate more.
- Stop in the middle of heavy city traffic for no apparent reason at least twice a week.
- Do something dangerous and stupid, and if you get honked at for it, flip the other person off.
- When gassing up, act like you have absolutely no idea how to use the gas pump. Then forget to put your gas cap back on.
- Read while driving (or put on makeup, or shave, or treat your cuticles, or give yourself a shiatsu treatment, or…)
- Disable your signals, remove your mirrors, and hey, black all your windows except the windshield. You won’t be using them anyway.
- Drive like Metro buses are no match for your Toyota Hybrid.
- Minimum Costco parking lot speed? As fast as you need to dodge mega-carts full of bulk rubber gloves and trampolines and still get a spot — right at the front door. Your goal? Don’t walk any more than you need to.
Any more Seattle Rules of the Road you’d like to add? Just comment on this post.