I was just at the Evergreen Village (Bellevue) Safeway this morning, doing my little shopping thing. I was late — I usually do it on the weekend. While wandering around getting my goods, I noticed that the shelves in the produce aisle were looking a bit empty. I didn’t think much of it. I never come in on Mondays. Maybe this is what things look like after a weekend rush. Maybe they’re expecting a delivery soon. Maybe they had taken all the little fruits and vegetables on a field trip (AHAHAHA).
Well, just heard on the news, the reason the shelves were empty was because they found (and I quote) “a pile of fecal matter was discovered on top of some produce” (from NWCN channel) on Sunday night between 7:30 and 10:30PM. Safeway immediately shut down the produce section, turfed out the produce, disinfected the shelves, and brought new produce in. They’re also offering refunds on produce purchased last night.
I’m totally speechless. I can’t even begin to picture how this little act went down. Did someone walk in (or smuggle a dog in) and take a dump? Did someone carry in a baggie of poo and empty it out on the produce aisle? Isn’t the rest of the store contaminated by association?
Also, the police were called. Did they send in CSI? Is everyone getting DNA tested? OK, I watch a little too much TV. I’ll just go back to being speechless.
Oh! I almost forgot the best part. In the background of the news report there was a farting noise — I think it was actually sounds of a motorcycle revving past the reporter, but of course that wasn’t the first thing on my mind.